Patience, A Key to Success

Hello Beautiful People,

Patience… If I’m being honest, this is something I lack. I’m always expecting things to happen fast, no time wasted. When in reality, this is not realistic. I’m working on that though. I’ve always believed everything happens for a reason and it will all make sense at some point, but then the whole impatient thing gets in the way.

When something negative happens, I can sometimes react as if it’s the end of the world. Some of this roots from my anxiety, some of it roots from my ambition. Being ambitious and driven is great, but so is being patient. Too many times I get discouraged because something exciting and great isn’t happening right now. I always have an urge to be doing something big.

The past few months have been a roller coaster for me, in all honesty. I try to stay positive and patient but then I’m so easily knocked back to the trenches.

“Ugh, why can’t I shake this feeling!”

The answer is not only in patience but also in perspective. Yes, negative things have happened in my life lately but not everyday has been negative. Also, there are people out there who have it way worse than me. That doesn’t change how I feel, but it can at least change my perspective.

What’s My Point?

My point is that in life, the things we want will not occur over night. We too often look at successful people and think “they’re lucky, they reached success overnight”. When this is far from the truth. Successful people are the ones who have endured the ultimate struggles and challenges in life. They are the ones who have been patient with the process and actually enjoyed the process of growth.

These periods of negativity can get us down, but they also guide us to where we need to go. If life was always perfect and always happening, we would never appreciate the successes. Patience is what teaches us appreciation for not only the successful moments but also the rough moments. The ones that got us to where we are today.

As a college student in my final year, there is more pressure to figure my life out RIGHT NOW than ever before. Yes, I should get an idea of where and who I want to be, but I shouldn’t put so much pressure on myself that it ruins present moments.

I think this is something a lot of college students experience at this time, especially close to the holidays. We all want to be able to tell Aunt Sally about the all jobs we have lined up and the person we are going to marry, but it’s just not realistic. We need patience.

I need patience. I need to calm the F down and realize everything will work out. Although I say I believe “everything happens for a reason”, I still lack patience sometimes.

I may sound like a hypocrite, and you may be wondering why you’re even listening to me. But, here is why:

I get it. I’m in it. I know you’ve been there too! We all get impatient with life from time to time. We want our dream job now, we want to travel now, we want everything NOW. Perhaps this what our generation has come to; we’ve become use to the fact that we can access people and information at any given time. While this is all true, we must stop to realize that life doesn’t work like the internet.

Our dream jobs won’t happen for 10+ years probably, and our travels will be unknown, not planned. If you’re able to achieve any of these goals quickly, good for you. If not, you’re not doing something wrong. Life moves at different paces for everyone. The successes of others do not have to dampen yours, in fact they do not dampen yours at all. Your success is up to you; it’s about the hard work and patience you put in to achieve it.

Back to why you are listening to me, I am seeing this first hand. I see it in myself and I see it in the students I’m around everyday. We all think we have to have it figured out right now. We don’t. Life is short, but it’s also so long. It will go by fast but doors will continue to open for you along the way. Don’t let fear of timing ruin your dreams.

I write this today because I have felt so much anxiety and pressure to have it all figured out this semester, so much so that I have depleted my own creativity and goals. I have seen the stress that impatience has caused me. After meeting new friends and listening to everyones story, I am learning I am not alone in my struggle. I’m learning that no one has it together, not even the professionals.

This worry and fear has only prohibited me from achieving my full happy-self. It’s impacted my health and my sleep patterns. We are energized by our passions. Don’t let stress be the thing to kill that energy. Healthy stress is good, it propels us towards our goals. Anxious, worry stress is not. It ruins our goals.

Stay focused, remain patient and enjoy the process. Do things that make you happy. Spend time with those who lift you up. Network with new people because you want to not because you feel like you have to. Step out of your comfort zone. Visit new cities and explore new talents. Dare I say, experience struggle. These are the things that will teach you patience and strength.

These skills will make you most successful, not more school work or another internship. If you can passionately express your experiences and true self to an employer that will be more beneficial. If you live your life shamelessly and authentically, then you will find peace and happiness. The destination you desire is amazing, but the process is the fun part.

Thank you for reading PYM today. I have started a monthly newsletter from Pretty, Young & Motivated, you can subscribe by sharing your email in the box on the right of the page. This newsletter will contain a round up of monthly posts, blog announcements, positive quotes, books and blogs to read, and more! Lastly, I am working on a huge fashion post, so stay tuned for that.

xo, Lyss

5 Steps to Improve Your Mental Health

Hello Darlings,

Physical health is super important to living a happy and healthy life, which I’ve mentioned before. Almost more important than physical health though is mental health. You should have a healthy balance of both, but I think we too often forget about taking care of ourselves mentally.

A friend shared something with me yesterday that really stood out to me. It was a list of things this girl (from social media or another blog) did in the last year to improve her own mental health. After reading through it, I was inspired to share some of her ideas and some of my own. Once again, I think mental health is too often swept under the rug. It’s a real thing and it’s real important.

As someone who struggles with anxiety on a daily basis, it can be difficult to take a step back and take time to recharge. Being anxious is mentally exhausting, your mind just goes and you can’t just snap your fingers to stop it. It picks apart every detail of every situation, it’s like an argument with myself in my own head, if that makes any sense.

Sharing these ways to improve mental health is not only important to me but it should be important to you too, even if you do not struggle with a mental illness. Being proactive and mentally sharp is always great.

Realize Your Worth

This one can be a tough one, and it should not be. It’s tough because we tend to be very self critical. It’s okay to learn from your mistakes and know where you can improve, but it should never diminish your self-worth. You must be confident and know what you are worth not only to others but to yourself.

This is also like having self-respect. Know what you deserve and know when it’s time to walk away from something. You are worth so much and you deserve to be treated that way. Be aware of yourself, improve and make changes but never say sorry for who you are. Practicing this and avoiding extreme self-criticism will be step number one towards improving your mental health.

Take Care of Yourself

I read something recently that said “self-love isn’t just face masks and bubble baths.” And I thought this was so true. Although those things can be part of your self-care routine, they are not necessarily “self-love”. Taking care of yourself means allowing time to do things you want, giving yourself grace when things don’t work out and exercising your mind in a positive way to combat stress and anxious feelings.

Self-love and self-care means becoming mentally strong, becoming aware of your flaws and accepting them and working on your strengths and weaknesses. Self-love is recognizing your worth, building your own confidence and putting yourself first when needed. All of this comes by taking proper care of yourself. It’s okay to stay in on Friday night, if you need to. It’s okay to take a day to yourself or not respond to texts. You don’t owe anyone anything, your overall health is most important.

Cut Out Any Negativity

It’s okay to cut negative relationships, groups, thoughts and whatever else out of your life. Think of your mind as a garden; do you want lots of weeds strangling and preventing beautiful flowers to grow or do you want a colorful, lively garden? The weeds in your mental garden are the negative things. Don’t be afraid to be your own gardener and nourish your garden.

We get scared to walk away from things because they are comfortable, but you should not allow something to stay in your life if it is not positively impacting you. Allow yourself to let go of negativity and move on.

Learn to Take a Step Back

It’s easy to react quickly to certain actions or situations, but know when to take a step back. If you are someone who battles with anxiety or a similar mental illness, it can be easy to jump to conclusions and react in an extreme way. Make it a habit to allow yourself time to step back, analyze the situation appropriately (not overthink) and return to the problem/situation with a clear perspective.

This is a tip anyone can use in stressful or overwhelming situations. Humans can react rashly in high stress or high emotional situations. Learning to take breath and approach problems with a clear head will most likely make life run smoother. I know, personally, that anxiety can make my whole body shake and sweat. I kind of clam up. Therefore, stepping back for me also means taking time to calm down and just breathe. I’m a busy student and some days my anxiety overcomes me, which makes me have to take a step back.

Listen to Your Body

You’ve heard this one before on my blog but it covers a lot of ground. First, you should listen to your body in the sense of diet. Feeding your body with nutrients and proper portions allows you to have maximum energy and brain function. Really fresh food is wonderful. Water is also highly important to a healthy, functioning body.

Beyond what you are putting in your body, listening to your body also means getting enough sleep and relaxing when needed. It can also mean taking a hot shower or bath. It can be exercising to relieve stress. Whatever it may be, always be aware of your body’s needs. This is one that I continue to work on everyday. It doesn’t happen over night but it is a process of learning how your body is currently reacting to your routine compared to when you make healthy changes.

Your body is really your machine; treat it with care and show it some love.


These five things really resonated with me and they are things I continue to work on myself. I wanted to curate a list of my own. You can do the same, take my list and reinvent it for yourself.

I’ll say it again: mental health should not be forgotten about, it should be understood and taken care of. Mental health is important for everyone, whether you struggle with an illness or not, being mentally resilient is key.

Thank you for reading PYM. I appreciate you making it part of your day, and I hope to see you again soon.

xo, Lyss

To the Girl with a Broken Heart

Hello Beautiful,

I’m writing this blog for all the girls who have had their hearts broken or who currently are working through a heart break. Although I am not in this situation currently, I have been there and I know it hurts.

The sleepless nights. The fake smiles. And the tears, so many tears.

Crying in the shower. Playing sad songs on repeat. Breaking down when a specific song comes on in the car. Your heart physically hurts and your insides feel twisted. For some, it’s the worst pain they’ve experienced. Medicine doesn’t take away this pain. It is a deep pain in your gut and the only cure is time.

To the girl with the broken heart, this is only temporary. This pain and aching in your heart will not last forever. Whoever put you in this place will feel the pain too, maybe not today but in time.

To the girl with the broken heart, it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to not be okay, just don’t get stuck in that dark place. Keep moving forward and grow your strength. You are so strong!

To the girl with the broken heart, he doesn’t deserve you. You are worth so much and anyone willing to hurt you does not deserve your attention. It’s okay to love someone who walks away, but know your own worth. You deserve someone who thinks the world of you!

To the girl with the broken heart, it will get better. It may not feel that way right now, but tough times don’t last, tough people do. You are so tough, this is just a rough patch. Don’t let it drag you down.

I’ve been there before, multiple times actually. You just have to understand the process of life. Yes, it’s hard in the moment and it doesn’t feel like it will get better. But it does. I promise you it does!

It makes you a fighter!

Here’s the pep talk:

Your first option to get your badass vibes back is to listen to Fighter by Christina Aguilera. This is my comeback jam!

Other option is read my next few lines.

You are hurting right now. I understand your pain and I feel it too. But, you are more than this. You have made it through every other heart break before this, and you’ve made through every other tough obstacle. Now here you are, still alive and thriving!

This moment in your life is so small in the grand scheme of things. You will look back on this period as a growing period. Your strength is being tested in these tough moments. They do not define you though. I want you to break down, get angry and cry. Let it out! Just know when to pull your big girl pants up and keep killing it.

You are a beautiful, strong and smart. Whoever broke your heart will regret it or whatever broke your heart will only get better in time. Take care of your bright, happy and creative soul. Take this time to focus on self-care and self-love. Shameless self-love. You are important to so many and your life is important. You have a purpose and this heart break is not that purpose, it is simply a bump in the road.

So, pick yourself up out of that shower or off your bed. Shut off the mushy sad BS music and play this playlist. Maybe even do the power pose because you rock!

My Broken Heart Comeback Playlist:

  1. Fighter – Christina Aguilera
  2. Sorry Not Sorry – Demi Lovato
  3. Bad at Love – Halsey
  4. Confident – Demi Lovato
  5. How Far I’ll Go – Alessia Cara (Yes, the song from Moana)
  6. Lush Life – Zara Larsson
  7. Man! I Feel Like a Woman – Shania Twain
  8. New Rules – Dua Lipa
  9. No Scrubs – TLC
  10. Roar – Katy Perry
  11. Dog Days Are Over – Florence and the Machine
  12. That’s My Girl – Fifth Harmony
  13. We Are Never Getting Back Together – T. Swift
  14. Stronger – Britney Spears
  15. Survivor – Destiny’s Child

*If you are seriously considering hurting yourself, you should seek professional help or call¬†1-800-273-8255. You matter and there are people here to help you. You are not alone in this fight! It is okay to talk to someone and it’s okay not to be okay, but don’t give up.

As I mentioned, I am completely happy right now but I have been there and I know the pain. There is always a quote that comes to mind when I experience these hard times – “Don’t forget you are human, it’s okay to have a meltdown, just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.”

Once again, these situations are temporary even when they do not feel that way. Remember your best moments and do your best to work through the tough ones. Think about all of the things that have shaped the person you are today, some of the most defining growth periods are probably during or after a tough time. It’s the worlds shitty way of testing our strengths.

Thank you for reading PYM! I hope this post helped you, if you have experienced this. Make this week wonderful, your happiness is up to you.

xo, Lyss

Quote
This is a little vulgar, but it’s resonates with me!

 

Rebuilding Your Self-Confidence

Confidence

Hello Beautiful Souls,

Some of you may have heard my personal self-confidence rebuild story in earlier posts, but if not I will share it again.

Lots of people will ask me what my blog is about and why I started it. Well, I actually started my blog out under the name Somewhere Between Vogue & Van Gogh. It was mostly directed toward art and fashion. But, after undergoing some major changes in my life, it not longer suited me. It was also a super long name that no one could remember.

I was a collegiate cheerleader for almost 2 years. For those of you who do not know, I ended up quitting because it was becoming a toxic environment for me. This is the place where my self-confidence got absolutely destroyed.

Comments and jokes about my size started to get to me mentally. Being on a co-ed team, there was this stigma that the girls had to be less than 110 pounds to stunt. I only weighed 10 pounds more than that but I was constantly looked over, and I was told the “smaller” girls were just easier to stunt with. This stigma caused me to become unhealthy, mentally and physically.

After I finally made the decision to quit, the rebuilding of my confidence began. I spent the next few months after that focusing on my goals; one of which was studying abroad. This time period was a weird point in my life. I wan neither sad nor happy. It was just this time of finding who I wanted to be without cheerleading. I had been a cheerleader for almost 9 years.

My A-ha Moment

Anyways, summer 2016 arrived and I left for my study abroad trip in France. I spent almost 6 weeks fully immersed in the French culture. This is where I began to find my confidence again. The funny part is I didn’t find my confidence through looks or attention, I found it on the outside of my comfort zone. I found that when I pushed my limits to try something new and exciting, I was rewarded with a little confidence point, as I like to call it.

I don’t know why these things correlated, but I think when we are able to try new things we learn more about ourselves.

I’ve also never been one to wear heavy make up, but in the states, I wore an average amount. In Nice, one of the cities I lived in for almost 4 weeks, it was too hot to worry about make up. We were constantly walking, climbing stairs or on the beach. Make up was not necessary.

I also left my hair natural most days because I was nervous about ruining my hair tools. I am sharing these points because this was actually a freeing experience for me. My host mom constantly complimented my smile and my appearance, which made me realize that beauty is more than trying to look perfect. Beauty can also come from the light your personality shines.

Back to the comfort zone thing, I always feel this internal spark when I do something new or step out of comfort zone. That gut feeling we get about things, listen to it. If you are inclined to try something, you should go for it. (Unless it is harmful to others, then don’t…)

After regaining my confidence, some of the girls on the trip encouraged me to write a book about being confident and empowering girls to do the same. It sounded like a great idea, and maybe I will one day, but instead my blog came to mind. After returning back to the U.S., I started brainstorming a new image for my blog. I wanted to share my story with other girls. I wanted to inspire girls to become their best self and empower them to encourage other girls to do the same.

This is how Pretty, Young & Motivated was born.


Okay, so how do you rebuild your confidence?

Take a moment to notice your successes

No matter what you are currently working on, successful or not, take time to realize how far you’ve come. When you have self-doubt, imagine a time you were successful. You can even celebrate a small win. This practice will allow you to understand success and confidence are a process. You will reach your goals in due time.

Confidence often roots from these successful points in our lives. They spark that internal flame a little and boost your confidence. I think this happens because as humans, we are so quick to doubt our abilities and when we are actually successful in our actions, we surprise ourselves. This feeling propels us to believe in ourselves, and that’s really all confidence is. It’s believing in yourself and your abilities.

Listen to your intuition

Follow your gut. Referring to the point about believing in ourselves, most of the time we believe in ourselves but our minds tell us otherwise. This belief is that gut feeling. You know what you are capable of and that can sometimes scare the shit out of you. Check in with those successes and keep following your intuition, it knows what you truly want.

When you follow that feeling, it usually leads to successful actions or fulfilling feelings. As they say at Nike, just do it.

Realize your beauty, internally

Once again, beauty is not just appearance. You can be the most externally beautiful person in the world but if you are a terrible person on the inside, it will show. It’s like the old saying “jealousy is an ugly trait”. They don’t say that because being jealous makes you physically ugly, but because it makes you an ugly person internally.

Know your worth beyond physical appearance. Yes, we all like to look pretty or handsome, but being a good person is most important. Your beauty comes from your strengths within, and sometimes even our weaknesses make us beautiful. The most vulnerable people are usually the most beautiful. Become self-aware; knowing who you are will make you more confident.


These are my best tips for rebuilding self-confidence. There is a huge confidence gap between men and women today. Ladies, we need to close this gap by believing in ourselves more and inspiring other women to do the same. We rise together, and we fall together.

Work on rebuilding your own confidence, and then work on building up the other women around you. Together we are stronger. If you are a male who struggles with confidence, you can still follow these tips to become more confident.

The bottom line is that, like everything in life, rebuilding confidence is a process. You have to fully believe in yourself, which can take some time to do. From there it is up to you to make decisions you believe in, decisions that spark that gut feeling. Finally, never stop pushing outside of your comfort zone. You will become more self-aware and gain a deeper understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. As always, trust the process!

Thank you for reading PYM. I hope to see you back again soon.

xo, Lyss

5 Books Every Girl Needs to Read

Hello Cuties,

Over the past few months, I have been working on building my personal library. I’ve never been much of a book worm, but I’ve found books to be really inspiring and helpful throughout my college career. There are so many books out there that can offer you almost any information you seek.

In our society today, knowledge is key. Therefore, reading opens many doors and provides you with valuable knowledge on life, career building and loving yourself.

Since I’ve been on a reading kick lately, I wanted to share five of my favorite books. I believe every young girl should read these before starting their career or just to keep them around the house. They are all inspiring and motivating, in my opinion.

Big Magic | Elizabeth Gilbert

Big Magic is about learning how to live your most creative life. Gilbert discusses how to incorporate creating living into your everyday activities. I’m still in the process of reading this one, but so far I love it. It makes you realize how to add creativity to all parts of your life. I think as we grow up, we forget about how important it is to be creative and let our expression flow. This book is a reminder of how to do so!

You Are a Badass | Jen Sincero

You Are a Badass is a really inspiring book that motivates you to care less about certain things and live your best life. One of my favorite parts of this book is that at the end of almost every chapter, one of the steps to follow is “love yourself”. I love that this is highlighted so much because the first step to living up to your full potential is loving yourself.

Leave Your Mark | Aliza Licht

I read this book my freshmen year of college, and it really set a positive tone for pursuing my dream career. This book has fun, sassy undertone from the author Aliza, former DKNY PR Girl. It not only shares her journey from the medical field to the high-fashion world, but it also covers all the tips you want to know to for pursuing a career in a competitive industry, like fashion.

The Sun & Her Flowers | Rupi Kaur

This book is not one you read all the way through at one time. I see this book as a resource you refer to when you need inspiration or words of affirmation. This a poetry book written by the magnificent Rupi Kaur. Her other book, Milk + Honey, is also highly praised. I have not purchased this one yet but I plan to in the future. I will share one of the passages from this book below.

#Girlboss | Sophia Amoruso 

Lastly, a classic favorite of mine, #Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso. After reading this book, I was completely inspired by the tone and message behind Sophia Amoruso and her story to success. I also enjoyed the fashion piece in this book. From the story of Nasty Gal and her attitude towards life, it’s something all girls need to read. It’s sassy, fun and empowering!

These are just a few of the books that have really motivated me and inspired many of my goals, career and personal. I utilize these books as tools, I keep them on my shelf as a reference. I read them whenever I need a little pick-me-up. Perk: Most of these books are around $10!

What books do you love + recommend?

Please share below in the comments or on social media with #PYMbooks. I’m always on the hunt for a new book! Thanks for reading PYM today, see you next time.

xo, Lyss