Hello Beautiful People,
I wanted to have an honest moment with all of you. Many of you may know that I struggle with anxiety from time to time. I have talked about this in more recent posts, but I thought I would be 100% real with you today.
Right now at this very moment, I am anxious.
Why you may ask?
That’s the problem with anxiety, you can’t always define the cause. Sometimes I am able to figure out where it is rooting from but most of the time it is unknown. That’s why it kind of makes one feel crazy. Anxiety gets under your skin, you feel it in your gut. It’s like being nervous about nothing.
It’s caring too much and it’s thinking too much.
You fear things that aren’t even happening. For example, right now I am feeling like people are annoyed with me; like they don’t want to be around me. So naturally, I am pushing away people that are close to me. I don’t want to be annoying and bothersome. My anxiety can take over and cause me to overthink even the smallest things. And that’s what is happening currently.
It’s wanting to fix something that’s not even a problem yet.
You feel alone, even when you’re not. You push people away (accidentally) because you’re scared of getting hurt. When in reality, nobody is leaving you. It’s all in your head. People ask what’s wrong and you can’t explain it because it doesn’t even make sense in your own head.
Most of the time I wish I did’t have to deal with this monster in my head but let me tell you a few things that anxiety has done for me.
Anxiety has made me love more deeply. I invest myself completely into a person because I think about every little thing. I don’t like conflict, so I do my best to make everyone happy and I always consider other peoples feelings. Sometimes before my own.
Anxiety has made me a planner. This is one of those things that can go both ways. In some sense, you don’t want to over plan and ruin the moment. But, planning has made me the driven, ambitious person I am today. Since I do think about every aspect, I am able to formulate a plan to accommodate many outcomes. Downfall of this trait is unmet expectations cause disappointment. You win some and lose some!
Anxiety has motivated me in many ways. At times, it can take over my mood and cause me to be in a real funk. But, the next day I have the option to make it a great day or let anxiety win. It all around has made me a stronger person.
Anxiety makes me stronger inside because it forces me to be completely self-aware at all times.
Anxiety allows me to read others very well. That is a gift of anxiety, I can determine if people are good or bad people pretty early on.
These are just a few ways I can describe anxiety. Creating this post has actually helped me internalize my feelings. Sometimes writing out your thoughts helps ease the anxious feeling. It allows you to see what you are thinking. If you are someone who struggles with anxiety, know that you are not alone and everything will be okay, even though it may not feel that way in the moment.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and get help. You are most important, so take care of yourself!
Thank you for reading PYM today. I hope this post is able to help those who also struggle with anxiety find peace in the fact that they are not alone, and offer a perspective of anxiety for those who may not understand it.