Rebuilding Your Self-Confidence

Confidence

Hello Beautiful Souls,

Some of you may have heard my personal self-confidence rebuild story in earlier posts, but if not I will share it again.

Lots of people will ask me what my blog is about and why I started it. Well, I actually started my blog out under the name Somewhere Between Vogue & Van Gogh. It was mostly directed toward art and fashion. But, after undergoing some major changes in my life, it not longer suited me. It was also a super long name that no one could remember.

I was a collegiate cheerleader for almost 2 years. For those of you who do not know, I ended up quitting because it was becoming a toxic environment for me. This is the place where my self-confidence got absolutely destroyed.

Comments and jokes about my size started to get to me mentally. Being on a co-ed team, there was this stigma that the girls had to be less than 110 pounds to stunt. I only weighed 10 pounds more than that but I was constantly looked over, and I was told the “smaller” girls were just easier to stunt with. This stigma caused me to become unhealthy, mentally and physically.

After I finally made the decision to quit, the rebuilding of my confidence began. I spent the next few months after that focusing on my goals; one of which was studying abroad. This time period was a weird point in my life. I wan neither sad nor happy. It was just this time of finding who I wanted to be without cheerleading. I had been a cheerleader for almost 9 years.

My A-ha Moment

Anyways, summer 2016 arrived and I left for my study abroad trip in France. I spent almost 6 weeks fully immersed in the French culture. This is where I began to find my confidence again. The funny part is I didn’t find my confidence through looks or attention, I found it on the outside of my comfort zone. I found that when I pushed my limits to try something new and exciting, I was rewarded with a little confidence point, as I like to call it.

I don’t know why these things correlated, but I think when we are able to try new things we learn more about ourselves.

I’ve also never been one to wear heavy make up, but in the states, I wore an average amount. In Nice, one of the cities I lived in for almost 4 weeks, it was too hot to worry about make up. We were constantly walking, climbing stairs or on the beach. Make up was not necessary.

I also left my hair natural most days because I was nervous about ruining my hair tools. I am sharing these points because this was actually a freeing experience for me. My host mom constantly complimented my smile and my appearance, which made me realize that beauty is more than trying to look perfect. Beauty can also come from the light your personality shines.

Back to the comfort zone thing, I always feel this internal spark when I do something new or step out of comfort zone. That gut feeling we get about things, listen to it. If you are inclined to try something, you should go for it. (Unless it is harmful to others, then don’t…)

After regaining my confidence, some of the girls on the trip encouraged me to write a book about being confident and empowering girls to do the same. It sounded like a great idea, and maybe I will one day, but instead my blog came to mind. After returning back to the U.S., I started brainstorming a new image for my blog. I wanted to share my story with other girls. I wanted to inspire girls to become their best self and empower them to encourage other girls to do the same.

This is how Pretty, Young & Motivated was born.


Okay, so how do you rebuild your confidence?

Take a moment to notice your successes

No matter what you are currently working on, successful or not, take time to realize how far you’ve come. When you have self-doubt, imagine a time you were successful. You can even celebrate a small win. This practice will allow you to understand success and confidence are a process. You will reach your goals in due time.

Confidence often roots from these successful points in our lives. They spark that internal flame a little and boost your confidence. I think this happens because as humans, we are so quick to doubt our abilities and when we are actually successful in our actions, we surprise ourselves. This feeling propels us to believe in ourselves, and that’s really all confidence is. It’s believing in yourself and your abilities.

Listen to your intuition

Follow your gut. Referring to the point about believing in ourselves, most of the time we believe in ourselves but our minds tell us otherwise. This belief is that gut feeling. You know what you are capable of and that can sometimes scare the shit out of you. Check in with those successes and keep following your intuition, it knows what you truly want.

When you follow that feeling, it usually leads to successful actions or fulfilling feelings. As they say at Nike, just do it.

Realize your beauty, internally

Once again, beauty is not just appearance. You can be the most externally beautiful person in the world but if you are a terrible person on the inside, it will show. It’s like the old saying “jealousy is an ugly trait”. They don’t say that because being jealous makes you physically ugly, but because it makes you an ugly person internally.

Know your worth beyond physical appearance. Yes, we all like to look pretty or handsome, but being a good person is most important. Your beauty comes from your strengths within, and sometimes even our weaknesses make us beautiful. The most vulnerable people are usually the most beautiful. Become self-aware; knowing who you are will make you more confident.


These are my best tips for rebuilding self-confidence. There is a huge confidence gap between men and women today. Ladies, we need to close this gap by believing in ourselves more and inspiring other women to do the same. We rise together, and we fall together.

Work on rebuilding your own confidence, and then work on building up the other women around you. Together we are stronger. If you are a male who struggles with confidence, you can still follow these tips to become more confident.

The bottom line is that, like everything in life, rebuilding confidence is a process. You have to fully believe in yourself, which can take some time to do. From there it is up to you to make decisions you believe in, decisions that spark that gut feeling. Finally, never stop pushing outside of your comfort zone. You will become more self-aware and gain a deeper understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. As always, trust the process!

Thank you for reading PYM. I hope to see you back again soon.

xo, Lyss

Pumpkin Patch Proof Outfit for Fall

 

Fall Date

Hello Babes,

Today I am trying something a little different on PYM. I wanted to share an outfit idea with all of you. It’s been quite awhile since I’ve shared a fashion post with you, and I wanted to test it out again. So, if you like this style post and would like to see more fashion/style posts from me, please let me know!

My blog started on fashion, and I still love dressing up and skimming Vogue magazines. I just have found more passion and engagement in writing about real life stuff. I always strive to share authentic topics and stories with you gals. However, I’m happy to bring back the fashion piece if I see enough push back.

This outfit is super simple and easy for almost anyone to put together.

Fall Outfit

American Eagle Boyfriend Flannel // American Eagle Dark Wash Jeans // Boutique Booties // Tart Hat // Assorted Kate Spade Bracelets

My boyfriend, David, and I visited a local farm last Saturday to pick pumpkins. We got donuts, picked out our massive pumpkins, took fun photos and then carved the pumpkins. The weather was perfect, and this outfit was very versatile for the day.

This outfit can easily be to put together from any closet. You can make it your own with different accessories. I paired mine with this cute grey hat! Depending on the weather, a chunky blanket scarf may be suitable.

The secret to my outfit is that it does not have to be name brand. I prefer American Eagle denim but you can wear your favorite pair of jeans with this outfit. A flannel can be bought at any store you please, even a resale shop. Don’t limit yourself to high priced fashion items, it’s all about how you style something that matters.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and if you would like to see more fashion post, please let me know. Thank you for reading today!

“Forget the rules. If you like it, wear it”

xo, Lyss

When Life Gets Busy

Hello Beautiful Souls,

Sometimes it’s hard to love ourselves fully. We all have bad days where we wake up feeling low. Lately I have been very busy, and as much as I enjoy being busy, it catches up to you. You forget to enjoy the small things and worry too much about what’s next. As you can probably notice, this has impacted my blogging too! Blogging is my way of being creative; it takes my thoughts and feelings about life and puts them into perspective for others to read and connect with. ¬†After taking some time off, I have realized it’s not always about consistency. Life is what you make it and to be honest, everyday won’t be amazing and extravagant, but everyday is a new chance to make it amazing and extravagant. Don’t lose sight of your goals when your stuck in that in-between.

If we always lived in the high moments of life, we would not appreciate life as much; the lows allow us to step back, adjust our perspectives and try again. The lows in life make us thankful for the highs. Too often we set ourselves to high standards that are not always obtainable. “Always be on time” “take 16 credits instead of 13” “Work two jobs” “post a blog post 3 times a week”.

No, no & no.

You do not have to do what society tells you to do because that’s when you become normal and you become everyone else. Society is not you. You are in charge of your feelings and thoughts, you must take care of yourself. Listen to what your soul wants. Take breaks, find a new inspiration, quit that second job, try something new. Do what YOU have to do, not what society wants you to do.

Blogging is how I share my thoughts with the world and whether 1,000 people read my posts or just one, my point is not to become famous or make money, it’s to create articles that resonate with just one person. If one person reads my post and it some how helps or inspires them, that’s all that matters to me. I obviously want to create posts for all types of people to read, but I’m done forcing unauthentic posts. I don’t write for followers or likes, I write to help other women (& sometimes men) feel inspired and empowered to be there own boss and take control of their lives. I’m no expert on life but I am an expert on being one of you: a human-being, aimlessly walking this earth and finding a purpose for this thing we call “life”.

Stop forcing things that are fake or unauthentic; whether it’s your style, personality or hobbies. Don’t create something just to fit in or appease others, do it for yourself and do it with purpose. Life is too short to be a copy of someone else.

My new goal is to post when it feels right, I will work on posting more frequently, but I will not force myself to write a post just to post it. Just like life is not consistent, my writing probably won’t be either. I want to provide worthy content for my readers and I want to make it worth my time in the process. I am sorry for taking such a long break from posting but I hope you understand. This blog is important to me because it is my way to express my feelings and thoughts, as well as reach out to those who need inspiration and motivation. Though I have been very busy, I am missing being able to take time to just write. I plan to take time each week to write for my blog and for myself.

Don’t get caught up in things that distract you from what you love. Once again, it’s okay to take a break. Every successful person must experience breaks, failures and challenges to become successful. These moments allow us to learn and grow. Thank you for sticking around during my break and as I always say…

Never give up!

xo, Lyss