Rebuilding Your Self-Confidence

Confidence

Hello Beautiful Souls,

Some of you may have heard my personal self-confidence rebuild story in earlier posts, but if not I will share it again.

Lots of people will ask me what my blog is about and why I started it. Well, I actually started my blog out under the name Somewhere Between Vogue & Van Gogh. It was mostly directed toward art and fashion. But, after undergoing some major changes in my life, it not longer suited me. It was also a super long name that no one could remember.

I was a collegiate cheerleader for almost 2 years. For those of you who do not know, I ended up quitting because it was becoming a toxic environment for me. This is the place where my self-confidence got absolutely destroyed.

Comments and jokes about my size started to get to me mentally. Being on a co-ed team, there was this stigma that the girls had to be less than 110 pounds to stunt. I only weighed 10 pounds more than that but I was constantly looked over, and I was told the “smaller” girls were just easier to stunt with. This stigma caused me to become unhealthy, mentally and physically.

After I finally made the decision to quit, the rebuilding of my confidence began. I spent the next few months after that focusing on my goals; one of which was studying abroad. This time period was a weird point in my life. I wan neither sad nor happy. It was just this time of finding who I wanted to be without cheerleading. I had been a cheerleader for almost 9 years.

My A-ha Moment

Anyways, summer 2016 arrived and I left for my study abroad trip in France. I spent almost 6 weeks fully immersed in the French culture. This is where I began to find my confidence again. The funny part is I didn’t find my confidence through looks or attention, I found it on the outside of my comfort zone. I found that when I pushed my limits to try something new and exciting, I was rewarded with a little confidence point, as I like to call it.

I don’t know why these things correlated, but I think when we are able to try new things we learn more about ourselves.

I’ve also never been one to wear heavy make up, but in the states, I wore an average amount. In Nice, one of the cities I lived in for almost 4 weeks, it was too hot to worry about make up. We were constantly walking, climbing stairs or on the beach. Make up was not necessary.

I also left my hair natural most days because I was nervous about ruining my hair tools. I am sharing these points because this was actually a freeing experience for me. My host mom constantly complimented my smile and my appearance, which made me realize that beauty is more than trying to look perfect. Beauty can also come from the light your personality shines.

Back to the comfort zone thing, I always feel this internal spark when I do something new or step out of comfort zone. That gut feeling we get about things, listen to it. If you are inclined to try something, you should go for it. (Unless it is harmful to others, then don’t…)

After regaining my confidence, some of the girls on the trip encouraged me to write a book about being confident and empowering girls to do the same. It sounded like a great idea, and maybe I will one day, but instead my blog came to mind. After returning back to the U.S., I started brainstorming a new image for my blog. I wanted to share my story with other girls. I wanted to inspire girls to become their best self and empower them to encourage other girls to do the same.

This is how Pretty, Young & Motivated was born.


Okay, so how do you rebuild your confidence?

Take a moment to notice your successes

No matter what you are currently working on, successful or not, take time to realize how far you’ve come. When you have self-doubt, imagine a time you were successful. You can even celebrate a small win. This practice will allow you to understand success and confidence are a process. You will reach your goals in due time.

Confidence often roots from these successful points in our lives. They spark that internal flame a little and boost your confidence. I think this happens because as humans, we are so quick to doubt our abilities and when we are actually successful in our actions, we surprise ourselves. This feeling propels us to believe in ourselves, and that’s really all confidence is. It’s believing in yourself and your abilities.

Listen to your intuition

Follow your gut. Referring to the point about believing in ourselves, most of the time we believe in ourselves but our minds tell us otherwise. This belief is that gut feeling. You know what you are capable of and that can sometimes scare the shit out of you. Check in with those successes and keep following your intuition, it knows what you truly want.

When you follow that feeling, it usually leads to successful actions or fulfilling feelings. As they say at Nike, just do it.

Realize your beauty, internally

Once again, beauty is not just appearance. You can be the most externally beautiful person in the world but if you are a terrible person on the inside, it will show. It’s like the old saying “jealousy is an ugly trait”. They don’t say that because being jealous makes you physically ugly, but because it makes you an ugly person internally.

Know your worth beyond physical appearance. Yes, we all like to look pretty or handsome, but being a good person is most important. Your beauty comes from your strengths within, and sometimes even our weaknesses make us beautiful. The most vulnerable people are usually the most beautiful. Become self-aware; knowing who you are will make you more confident.


These are my best tips for rebuilding self-confidence. There is a huge confidence gap between men and women today. Ladies, we need to close this gap by believing in ourselves more and inspiring other women to do the same. We rise together, and we fall together.

Work on rebuilding your own confidence, and then work on building up the other women around you. Together we are stronger. If you are a male who struggles with confidence, you can still follow these tips to become more confident.

The bottom line is that, like everything in life, rebuilding confidence is a process. You have to fully believe in yourself, which can take some time to do. From there it is up to you to make decisions you believe in, decisions that spark that gut feeling. Finally, never stop pushing outside of your comfort zone. You will become more self-aware and gain a deeper understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. As always, trust the process!

Thank you for reading PYM. I hope to see you back again soon.

xo, Lyss

Live Your Life, Shamelessly

Hello Beautiful Souls,

Everyday you wake up, you have the opportunity to do something amazing with that day. The choice is completely up to you.

When you wake up, you can be upset at the world and groan about going into work. This kind of mindset will create a negative space around you and you may even see more negativity start to come your way.

Another option would be to wake up with a purpose, tell yourself to seize the day and try something new. This mindset will most likely bring you lots of happiness and positive vibes throughout the day. It’s called Law of Attraction, believe it or don’t, but it’s legit.

How does this relate to living your life shamelessly, you ask?

Most of the time, we are held back by our fears of judgement and what others may think of us. We inhibit our abilities to grow because we don’t want to look weird or out-of-place. The thing is though, every person that has ever made a difference in this world was weird and out-of-place. They encountered many failures and climbed many mountains. They didn’t wake up innovators, creators or influencers; they became them.

This relates to the attitude you choose to have on a daily basis because you can wake up and let your fears hold you back or you can live your life shamelessly and be the weird one. The weird ones are the leaders and doer’s of our society.

One of my bosses shared this short Ted Talk with us during my first week at my internship. It was some “weird” guy dancing around by himself but he was surrounded by a crowd of people. Of course, he got dirty looks and quite a few glares. Then something happened, another guy jumped up and started to dance like a maniac too; and another one followed. Eventually there was a whole crowd of people dancing and no one felt weird about it.

Nice-France_Live Your Life

The lesson here is that someone has to be brave enough to step outside of their normal comfort zone and be the werido that starts a movement. It can be scary to put yourself out there, especially all by yourself. Once you embrace this idea of being comfortable with being uncomfortable, you will watch yourself blossom into this magical human. People will no longer judge you, and even if they do, you will not worry about this anymore because you’re confident in who you are.

Coming back to the law of attraction idea, your confidence and self-assurance will create this positive vibe around you. People may be intimidated by you, but more often than not, they will be inspired by you.

 

Today, and everyday, I just want you to live the life that makes you happy regardless of what others think. You only have one life to live, don’t waste it worrying about what people might think of you. Spend it being 100% yourself and enjoying every freaking moment. Thank you for reading and have cheerful day!

Do what makes you happy!

xo, Lyss

Stories + Spaces: Self-Love

Hello Lovely People,

It’s time for this month’s Stories + Spaces and the topic is “Self-Love.” You’ve probably noticed my last few posts have been related to self-love, and I have to be honest, my self-love routine has taken a back seat due to my busy schedule this semester. Over the past few weeks, this lack of self care has begun to catch up with me. I’ve been breaking out every week due to stress, illness is creeping up on me and my sleep schedule is out of whack.

Although I love being busy and investing my time into many things, it catches up to you. Sadly, when we get busy I think the first thing we neglect is ourselves. After constantly breaking out and feeling under the weather, I realized it’s time to take care of myself first.

This post could not have come at a better time! I am working on refocusing my attention and taking care of my well-being. Tessa constructed this post and she asked us three questions.

Why is self-love important?

In my opinion, self-love is important because it gives us confidence and makes us happier. When you look up the definition of self-love, you may see synonyms like conceit or narcissism. I find this to be so disheartening. Self-love should not be looked at as a selfish act. Self-love is not about being too into yourself or being selfish; it’s about taking care of your mind, body and spirit. It’s interest in your own well-being, and is that really narcissistic?

Self-love is important to your health, it promotes good energy and a mindful life. Taking care of yourself is crucial to keeping your passions inspired and keeping your vibes positive. Never look at self-love as something negative or selfish. You can still love yourself and spread love to others. Actually, people who are more confident in themselves, are more likely to be kind to others because they are comfortable with themselves. When you are comfortable with who you are, you don’t worry about what others look like or what they think. It’s freeing!

How I promote self-love in my life?

As I mentioned in the beginning of the post, my self-love routine has been a little off lately. But, since I have been feeling this way, I decided to take a step back and focus on myself more. These are a few of the ways that I take care of my mind and body.

  1. Drink tea: Tea is great for many different things; immune system, energy, skin, etc. Drinking tea is healthy & yummy!
  2.  Lavender essential oil: This has been my go-to for everything. I use this on my breakouts, pillowcase (stress reliever) and in my hair (dry scalp). It is the best thing ever!
  3. Taking a run: When I find the time (and the weather is nice), I love to get outside and run. This relieves my stress and boosts my mood.
  4. Getting my nails done: Lately, I have found getting my nails done really helps boost my confidence. It makes me feel pretty and look professional.
  5. Read positive quotes:  I love finding quotes on Pinterest and sharing them with my girl friends.
  6. Sleep: Sleep is so important to me. It keeps me functioning and it’s important to give your mind a rest.
  7. Taking care of my skin: This has been a never ending battle lately, but I always remove all my makeup and wash my face each night. I like to moisturize my face each night too, especially during the winter months.

This isn’t really a bullet point but just a statement on promoting self-love and that is speaking positively about yourself. When you speak negatively about yourself to others and to yourself, it promotes negativity in your life. Never compare yourself and be confident in who you are.

What I love most about myself?

Who I am and where I come from. A lot of people don’t know that I use to be a tomboy growing up; I raced motorcycles, caught gaint frogs and built forts until I was about 13. People see me as a girly girl and all into fashion, which is partly true, but I come from a lot more than just that. I’d like to thing my life as been on the end of a little crazy but nothing to complain about because I believe it has all made me who I am today.

My past has made me work hard for every single one of my goals, it has taught me to have a kind heart but not to take shit from anyone. I always give people second chances, but never a third. Ambition and passionate are words that describe my attitude toward many things in life. I love that I had the opportunity to grow up playing outdoors, doing ballet and racing dirt bikes, it made me tough. So, what I love most about myself is who I am because of my past and what I’ve become because of it.

Everyday and everything is a lesson, what you learn from it is up to you. You can make it negative or you can make it positive, the choice is yours.

I really enjoyed writing this post, especially during this busy time of my life. It’s always nice to remind yourself that self-love is important. Be sure to check out the other girl’s posts too! I will link their blogs below.

Tessa | Simply Tess

Ally | A Touch of Tulle

Paige | Where the Wildflowers Are

Thank you for reading today! Stay tuned for more posts from PYM. I apologize for only posting once a week sometimes, my schedule is insane and I barely have time for homework. Thank you for sticking around and I hope your week is amazing.

Happy Monday.

xo, Lyss

How to Boost Your Confidence in 3 Steps

Hello Babes,

Feeling stuck? Skin feeling dry from the harsh winter air? Motivation running low? You may be falling into a slump, and it’s okay, I am too. I know how difficult it can be to stay confident & positive all the time. Being a young woman in a judgmental society is already a challenge, then adding personal criticism on top of that is almost inevitable. How can you feel your best when the universe is all wrong? Well, this may be the root of your problem. I know what it’s like to fall in this “poor me” slump. You blame the universe for all your problems.

I understand it can sometimes feel like that, but the moment you start blaming outside sources for your feelings, that’s the moment your confidence will start to tank. You have to keep an open mindset and disregard the negativity that is trying to break you down. When you are confident, you begin to vibe at a different frequency. People and things below you may try to knock that because they will see your happiness. The key to being confident and staying at this level is to continue loving yourself and spreading positivity.

So, if you are feeling stuck in this rut and need to reconnect with the universe, here is my advice to you:

Be Positive & Spread Kindness: 

It’s a lot easier to be confident when you are positive and kind to others. Whenever I am overly sassy and walking around with a “poor me” attitude that only influences more negative energy. The negative energy then feeds my soul and makes me feel more “blah.” Being kind to others makes your heart feel good, and it also makes you feel happier overall. When you fill your thoughts with positive vibes, you will allow for more positivity to enter your life, and how can you be insecure when you are constantly positive?! It’s all about your mindset and understanding that your happiness is your choice.

Create a Daily Mantra:

Finding an inspirational and positive mantra to start your day with is really great for keeping your confidence levels up. You can then refer to this mantra/quote throughout the day. I love a good quote, and I decorate my life with them. I put them on my vision board, as my phone background and in my agenda. They keep me inspired and positive! I challenge you to find three mantras or quotes that inspire you.

Surround yourself with happy souls:

This is one of the most important steps to keeping yourself inspired, and though I encourage self-love and self inflicted happiness, it’s good for you to surround yourself with inspiring beings. When you are surrounded by other inspiring people who are killing it, this inspires you to be better and encourages more positive vibes. I have found myself in situations where I am living with, or surrounded by very negative energy, and I can see its impact on my mood. But, when I have attended a workout class or grabbed coffee with a good friend, I find that my positive energy rises. Trust me, that feels much better than negative energy.

Something to remember with this step is never be discouraged by someone elses successes, envy feeds negativity. When you choose to surround yourself with motivated individuals, you may sometimes feel less than them but that is a poisonous way to think. Think about all you are accomplishing in the present, you must focus your energy on that not on envying others. Allow these people to inspire you and keep you motivated, not discourage you and create jealousy.

If you are able to follow these three steps on a daily basis, you will find it a lot easier to keep your confidence up and your positivity flowing. I know this time of the year can be a struggle for many, but keep calm and be confident, you’ve got this!

Thank you all for reading today’s post! Remember that you can subscribe on the right of the page to stay updated with PYM.

Stay positive!

xo, Lyss

You’re Beautiful The Way You Are

Hello Pretty People,

It’s time to address a problem that I have not only experienced, but overcome. I want to talk about the stigma girls in today’s society live with, which is the expectation to look beautiful and perfect. We are constantly competing with the girls around us, and honestly, I couldn’t tell you why we do it. It’s something we have watched our mothers and grandmothers do, and now we have carried it into our daily lives. It’s not like we wake up and automatically think “oh I have to look better than this girl”; but instinctively, we are quick to judge other girls.

I do this thing where I try to smile at everyone I pass, and you’d be surprised on how many dirty looks I get from girls. Most of the time, I think it is because I throw them off guard. It is just so natural for us to expect other girls to be mean to us, when in reality, we should be empowering each other. Girls have beautiful minds that work wonders but we constantly underestimating ourselves. Girls are often too worried about what someone else is saying rather than just not caring. These statements I am making are “in general” and given from my own experience of being a girl. I know everyone’s perspectives are different.

In the past year, I have faced a great deal of change and my life has been this transitioning period. Transitioning from this negative outlook I once had, to my new perspective that sees the power and beauty in every individual. A year ago, I walked around worrying about what others where thinking of me; was I enough for them? I went to cheer practicing knowing I would never be as small as the other girls, no matter how hard I tried. I let every little thing bother me because I was so worried about who I should be. This outlook not only made me see myself in a negative way, but it also made me look at others in a negative way. I knew that I had to change, and since then I have been slowly becoming a person I want to be. One that I am proud of.

First off, you have the power to change your life. If you don’t like something, change it! Don’t make excuses.

But, most importantly, do not stop loving yourself in the process. Change is good, it give us new perspectives and teaches us lessons. But, trying to become someone you’re not is an endless battle you will not win. This post today is for the girls out there that are stuck in this position where they think they are not enough and their beauty must meet society’s standards. Your beauty is unique and it is in fact, beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, this may make you feel worse for a moment but hear me through.

Just because one person has an opinion about you, does not mean that their opinion is valid. What others think or say about you, does not define who you are. You define who you are when you wake up in the morning and make the decision to be the best version of yourself.

Girls need to stop competing with each other and start encouraging each other. I cannot say this enough, but once we realize this, we will find peace with one another. The girl hate will vanish!

hap

After struggling with my own body image, I know what it is like to feel this way. I am here to tell you as my reader that you are enough, others opinions do not define you and your happiness is up to you. I cannot stress these three things enough because I know that they are the main reason you feel the way you do. When you place your happiness in the hands of others, you can’t expect it to be your own kind of happiness. When you let others opinions define you, you are letting their words rule you. You have to take charge of your own life. When you can understand that you are amazing without the thoughts and opinions of others, you will begin to live a life you love.

Thank you all for reading today! I really had to express my thoughts on this topic because I know the struggle of body image. Understand that you have to put yourself first and take care of not only your body, but your mind and spirit. It all works together. Just focus on being the best version of yourself and doing things that ultimately make you happy, the rest will follow. Worrying about others actions or thoughts will only slow down your progress, and ain’t nobody got time for that. Life’s short, just live it! Thank you all.

Much Love.

xo, Lyss

Quote of the Day:

alone