Why Girls Need Self-Love?

Hello Pretty People,

The new year has arrived and that means everyone is creating new intentions + goals. If you read my last post, you know what mine are. On NYE, I realized another concept we all need to adopt in 2018 – GIRLS SUPPORTING GIRLS. Girls need to not only show more self-love in the new year but they need to show more support for one another.

Girls tend to judge other girls quite easily because we are taught by society to compete with each other. Rather than saying “you go girl!”, we sometimes get defensive about good looking women. This also happens with success. When we see a girl doing all the things we dream of, we can easily judge them. This not only feeds the jealousy trait inside us but it makes us more insecure about ourselves. We too often compare ourselves to those around us, rather than just embracing who we are.

If another girl is beautiful, we do not need to get insecure about our own beauty. Another’s beauty or success does not dampen our own. We are all beautiful and successful in our own ways.

What does this have to do with self-love?

Well, when girls are insecure about themselves, they tend to resort to this judgmental attitude. Judging other girls is a defense mechanism that makes us feel better about ourselves. When we feel threatened by other women, we tend to become judgmental towards them. This is an unhealthy habit because it not only creates negative vibes around us, but it also doesn’t allow us to give certain people a chance in our life. This a perfect example of judging a book by it’s cover.

Self-love allows us to become more comfortable and confident in ourselves. Self-love teaches us our strengths and our weaknesses. We know where we shine and where we can use a little more work. We believe in our abilities and we are fearless in the pursuit of our dreams. When we love ourselves, we don’t allow room for negativity and judgment. When we dwell on the beauty or success of another, we only create more room for negativity to thrive.

In my opinion, self-love is the constant practice of becoming your best self. You are confident in who you are, which allows you to spread more positivity and kindness to others. Insecurity and worry creates anxious tendencies, trust me I know. We fear others will outshine us or their light will dull our own. This, however, is not the case.

Falling in love with yourself is the key to falling in love with others. Being confident in who you are allows you to empower others to do the same. Self-love is needed more than ever amongst females. We need to worry less about being good enough for everyone else, and ask ourselves who is good enough for us.

Women have it tough sometimes; we have grown up in a society that teaches us to compete rather than to uplift one another. We’re not born to compete with one another. We need to realize that one girls beauty or success does not impact our own. Actually, empowering other women around us creates less girl hate and more confidence within ourselves.

My Lesson

Before you judge the girls around you, take a step back to realize you do not know their story. Judging someone else only brings negativity into your life and takes up space where good stuff could live. When women support each other and lift each other up, we become more powerful. We start to worry less about competing and more about creating our own life. We need to focus our energy on healing and creating, rather than worrying and judging. Support the women around you and empower them to be great!

In 2018, start practicing and adopting this intention to support the women around you. Understand that their success does not inhibit your own, and you too are beautiful. 2018 is the year of self-love, the year to spread kindness and love to all.

Thank you for reading PYM. Happy New Year to all my lovely readers! I wish you the best in 2018 and I hope you are able to grow in many new ways.

xo, Lyss

                  Favorite quote of all time!

October Cafe Chat: Confidence

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Hello Pretty People,

A few weeks ago I met up with the Cafe Chat girls again, and we discussed a topic that is important to me, that topic being confidence. Tessa chose the topic for us this week and she presented us with a few different questions to really get the conversation started, and of course, we all made it our own from there. I am going to share my responses first, then I will share a little snip it of there and direct you to their blogs. I hope you are able to take away some lessons and also connect some of your own thoughts as well.

What makes you feel confident?

I feel the most confident when I can inspire others and be a role model to younger women. I find that very empowering and it makes my heart happy to know that I am influencing others to be the best version of themselves. For example, when my readers are able to connect to my content, it makes me feel like my writing matters. My goal of my blog is to make women not feel alone in the crazy world, and when I see that happening, my heart is full. I also feel very confident when I wear a great outfit or my hair looks exceptionally good one day, that just makes me feel more beautiful and ready to take on the day.

Lastly, I like when my accomplishments or progress are noticed by people. I do not just mean compliments, but when someone can actually notice a progressive change in you, it makes you feel like you are actually doing something right. I know I am my own worst enemy because I always think I should be doing more, therefore when someone stops me and tells me I look like I have it together, that is my favorite thing to hear. It just reassures me that I am on the right track, even when I don’t feel like it always.

What advice do you have for other girls?

I want to tell other girls that they are beautiful and they do not need to change to please others. One thing I often tell myself is that no matter what, if you change your hair or clothes, there are always going to be people who continue to judge you. Just embrace who you are, including your flaws, because everyone is flawed and everyone feels judged. You have to push past this fear of being judged and just accept that we all feel this.

I also want girls to know that health goes beyond size; being skinny does not make you healthy. Being healthy includes your mental health as well. Take care of yourself, do not fill your mind with negativity and do not tell yourself you have to be a certain size.

Lastly, surround yourself with people that lift you up because this reflects who you become. If you are surrounded by negative people, they will only drag you down with them. Find yourself a tribe of fun, loving women who want the best for you; not a group that competes with you and makes you feel less than amazing.

What is your favorite Fall tradition?

I always love going to the apple orchard with my friends and family, donuts and cider are a must-have for the Fall season. I also just love Fall mornings when I can enjoy a coffee at my favorite cafe and people watch.

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Paige // Where the Wildflowers Are

Paige is a beautiful soul in this world of basic girls, she is always authentic and her beauty shines. Paige feels the most confident by doing the thing she is passionate about: art. Creating art makes her feel the most confident. One of her favorite Fall traditions is picking pumpkins with her little family (Tyler & Max). She shares a whole lot more confident and self-loving advice over on her blog, which you can check it by clicking her name or here.

Tessa // Simply Tess

Tessa is a bright soul that works hard toward her goals, and when she is able to achieve these goals, she feels on top of the world. Tessa shared that she feels most confident when she accomplishes her goals or makes progress toward her goals. She also feels confident when her hard work is recognized. Tessa thinks to be the most confident you should remove the negative people from your life (ditto!) and fall in love with yourself. If you want to learn more about what Tessa had to say this month, head over to Simply Tess or click here.

Ally // A Touch of Tulle

Ally is a goal digger, she is out there achieving her dreams at 20 years old. Ally shared with the group that she finds confidence in accomplishing her goals. She likes when her hard work is recognized and I couldn’t agree more! One of my favorite things she mention when giving us advice was that likes on social media do not matter. I thought this was an important message for girls in today’s society. If you want to hear more from Ally, check out A Touch of Tulle here or in the link above.

Thank you all for reading the second Cafe Chat, and if you missed the first one I will share it below. I have been loving these meetings because I am able to sit down with these amazing humans and discuss topics that most women are unable to talk about. I find myself so lucky to have found an inspiring group of girls that not only lift me up but work on lifting other females up too. They are the ideal women I want to collaborate with. I hope you will stick around and check out my new site, and subscribe if you like it!

Cafe Chat #1

Cheers to a brand new week!

xo, Lyss