Why Girls Need Self-Love?

Hello Pretty People,

The new year has arrived and that means everyone is creating new intentions + goals. If you read my last post, you know what mine are. On NYE, I realized another concept we all need to adopt in 2018 – GIRLS SUPPORTING GIRLS. Girls need to not only show more self-love in the new year but they need to show more support for one another.

Girls tend to judge other girls quite easily because we are taught by society to compete with each other. Rather than saying “you go girl!”, we sometimes get defensive about good looking women. This also happens with success. When we see a girl doing all the things we dream of, we can easily judge them. This not only feeds the jealousy trait inside us but it makes us more insecure about ourselves. We too often compare ourselves to those around us, rather than just embracing who we are.

If another girl is beautiful, we do not need to get insecure about our own beauty. Another’s beauty or success does not dampen our own. We are all beautiful and successful in our own ways.

What does this have to do with self-love?

Well, when girls are insecure about themselves, they tend to resort to this judgmental attitude. Judging other girls is a defense mechanism that makes us feel better about ourselves. When we feel threatened by other women, we tend to become judgmental towards them. This is an unhealthy habit because it not only creates negative vibes around us, but it also doesn’t allow us to give certain people a chance in our life. This a perfect example of judging a book by it’s cover.

Self-love allows us to become more comfortable and confident in ourselves. Self-love teaches us our strengths and our weaknesses. We know where we shine and where we can use a little more work. We believe in our abilities and we are fearless in the pursuit of our dreams. When we love ourselves, we don’t allow room for negativity and judgment. When we dwell on the beauty or success of another, we only create more room for negativity to thrive.

In my opinion, self-love is the constant practice of becoming your best self. You are confident in who you are, which allows you to spread more positivity and kindness to others. Insecurity and worry creates anxious tendencies, trust me I know. We fear others will outshine us or their light will dull our own. This, however, is not the case.

Falling in love with yourself is the key to falling in love with others. Being confident in who you are allows you to empower others to do the same. Self-love is needed more than ever amongst females. We need to worry less about being good enough for everyone else, and ask ourselves who is good enough for us.

Women have it tough sometimes; we have grown up in a society that teaches us to compete rather than to uplift one another. We’re not born to compete with one another. We need to realize that one girls beauty or success does not impact our own. Actually, empowering other women around us creates less girl hate and more confidence within ourselves.

My Lesson

Before you judge the girls around you, take a step back to realize you do not know their story. Judging someone else only brings negativity into your life and takes up space where good stuff could live. When women support each other and lift each other up, we become more powerful. We start to worry less about competing and more about creating our own life. We need to focus our energy on healing and creating, rather than worrying and judging. Support the women around you and empower them to be great!

In 2018, start practicing and adopting this intention to support the women around you. Understand that their success does not inhibit your own, and you too are beautiful. 2018 is the year of self-love, the year to spread kindness and love to all.

Thank you for reading PYM. Happy New Year to all my lovely readers! I wish you the best in 2018 and I hope you are able to grow in many new ways.

xo, Lyss

                  Favorite quote of all time!

How to Take Control of Your Life This Year

Hello Babes,

The beginning of the year means the start of many new things; for me, it’s the start of a new semester and the beginning of my internship. For most of us, now is the time to brush up on those time management skills and kick our productivity level into high gear. Today’s post is your check list for jump starting your year and making meaningful leaps toward your goals.  I want this post to spark that fire within, the fire that makes you jump out of bed in the morning and take control of your life. The time is now!

Being productive is not the challenge, it’s staying productive that is difficult for most of us. For me, the cold weather really makes my productivity tank. I just want to stay under the covers all day and catch up on some Netflix. Anyone else get like this? It’s the worst! Since I know the struggle, I figured I could share my best tips on how to stop wasting time and get your life together.

Now’s the time to get it together, girl:

Organize your work space: Nothing makes me avoid doing my list of to-do’s more than a messy work area. Clean your desk, organize your papers and decorate your surrounding environment. This will help you work more efficiently and keep a positive work space. Staying organized will help you find important things quickly and allow a clear space for you to get sh*t done.

Buy an agenda (& use it): My agenda is my life; it contains all important meetings, events and appointments I have to attend. It also helps me organize my blogging schedule and keep track of my work schedule. Your agenda can be tailored to your life; whatever your career or life consists of, an agenda will save your life. It is a must-have for every working girl!

Manage your inbox: Keeping up on your emails not only lessens your list of to-do’s, but it also gives you piece of mind. You can worry less about missing an important message while boosting your productivity. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people do not respond to my emails; I understand everyone gets busy but make it a goal to keep up on your inbox. You won’t regret it!

Set goals: Setting goals not only makes you more productive, but it also increases your motivation. Organize your goals and look at them continuously. This will keep you focused and allow for you to move quicker through tasks. I make a list of my daily goals (or to-do’s) and a list of my long term goals. If you missed my new years resolution post you can click here to read it; this post can help you set meaningful goals and crush them in 2017.

Build your network: I decided to add this one because I feel as though networking is crucial to building a positive image for yourself. It can also lead you to many opportunities, whether it be socially or career-based, networking is great. Grab coffee a person in your dream position or introduce yourself to that person you see on the bus everyday. You never know who you could meet and it never hurts to make a friend.

Dress for success: This last one is more directed toward those college students who constantly wear sweat pants. Referring to the last tip, you never know who you’re going to meet and that’s why you should strive to dress the part. I live by this, and most of the time, I don’t meet anybody special. But, I always feel prepared for what the day may bring and it makes me more confident. If you are a junior or senior in college, you should be taking steps towards building a professional wardrobe anyway, these are just the baby steps toward that. Feel free to connect with me privately to discuss wardrobing advice, I’d be happy to assist.

Now that you know the ways to get your life together, it’s time to get out there in the world and kill it. Lead by example, when you have your life together you influence those around you to get their lives together. The secret to getting your life together is actually faking that you have together when you don’t. It’s like reverse psychology on yourself. Once you train your brain to be productive, even on the days you’re a mess, you will begin to actually have your life together. It’s a crazy concept!

There has been so many times where I feel like my life is a complete mess, but I hold it together and fake it till I make it. It’s funny because during these times I’ve had many people tell me how put together I look or how I have it figured out, and boy are they wrong. You just got to own it and do what sets your soul on fire, and no one will doubt you. When you don’t believe in yourself, no one else can either.

Thank you for reading today! I hope some of these tips can help you get your life together in 2017, or at least motivate you to get it together. Don’t forget to follow PYM on instagram @pym_blog or on Twitter @pymblog_. I share new posts here, along with positive quotes and polls. You can also subscribe via email on the right of the page. Check it out!

Happy Monday.

xo, Lyss

 

 

#Girlboss: Danielle Davis

Hello Pretty People,

It’s time for another #Girlboss feature, and I am very excited for this one. I started this #Girlboss series on my blog almost a year ago, and it has been one of my favorite series to do. I was inspired by Sophia Amoruso, author of the book #Girlboss and founder of Nasty Gal. I loved the tone of her book and the message it portrayed to women. I knew that I wanted to do something similar on my blog. My #Girlboss series consists of finding women who have impacted the world, even in the slightest way; I want to highlight their girlboss moments and allow their stories to inspire others to channel their inner girlboss.

This month I am bringing you a brand new, wonderful #Girlboss feature. This woman is well-traveled, fashion forward and all around a genuine person. She is always so bubbly and happy, no matter how gloomy the day might be. So, I am happy to share this month’s #Girlboss: Danielle Davis. 

What’s your Story?

I have always been a dreamer, and sort of a free spirit. My parents always tell me that from a young age I talked about traveling and following my passions. Creativity has always been a huge party of my life. Growing up in a Midwest City having passions for acting and fashion weren’t number one on what everyone thought you should do. But, I was determined to follow my dreams and become the person I always wanted to be. So I ended up moving to LA at 17/18 and going to fashion school at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising (FIDM). As soon as I stepped off that plane at LAX I felt a sense of belonging that I can’t really explain. It was like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. My eyes and my heart were opened so wide with the creativity and fashion, and all the opportunities that this place held. With the beauty of living in LA, there was also a dark side to moving to such a crazy city at 18 years old. At 18 you really don’t know who you are so it’s easy to get swallowed up in what others want you to be.

I started to slowly become someone who wasn’t a girl I remembered. I was always so full of life and bubbly and laughing; but I started becoming cynical, bitchy and started to trust less and less people. I also lived in New York City for 3 months working at a fashion house and modeling agency. NYC is a whole different animal but I absolutely loved it. It’s seriously its own little world, you could live in NY forever and forget that there is any other place out there. I’ve worked at NYFW for 4 years now and it is every bit of crazy and amazing as you can imagine. I remember my first Fashion week, it was like an absolute dream and chaos all wrapped into one week of no sleep and LOTS of coffee. All these beautiful collections, and all the beautiful people I was absolutely mesmerized. I’ve seen so many good and bad sides too this crazy fashion industry. I loved every minute of my time there but when I was done I needed a breath of fresh air. I knew that I loved this industry but I wasn’t sure if I loved who I was becoming. I knew some people who worked in this industry who seemed so full of life, and so centered in themselves and I didn’t understand how they did it. They all told me you need to know who YOU are in this industry and be confident in it or otherwise everyone else will tell you who to be and you won’t last a few years.

So I decided to move to Hawaii and work for a non-profit organization that helped other people in all different countries. Hawaii was such a change of pace to what I was used to. What I initially though would be a 6 month stint became three years of working and traveling. I took a little bit of a hiatus from the world that I had grown to love. I needed to figure out who I wanted to be in this world. Did I want to be that high power fashion girl who had no heart? Did I want to be that girl who was so nice but got walked all over? Maybe I could be a great combination of both. I ended up traveling to a number of different countries like Papua New Guinea, Australia, New Zealand, the Middle East, Nepal (where I engaged) and Fiji! My eyes were completely open and I saw that the world was so much bigger and loving than I could have ever imagined. I realized that there was more to life than just fashion, but that everywhere I went I saw the beauty in their fashion in every country and the diversity in it! I remembered who I was and became confident in who I wanted to be. I left Hawaii about a year ago and have the world ahead of me. I’ve taken such a crazy path but I feel so much more stable in myself and through that it helps me work better and love others better as well. I can’t wait to see what the future holds, I know it’s got to be something crazy.

What inspires you?

Genuine People inspire me. I loving seeing people being authentically themselves. You can see it in someone when they are happy and satisfied with who they are. Following their passions and not having fear about what anyone thinks. There is just something so beautiful about someone so free from fear and full of dreams that inspires me to keep chasing my dreams. When I see fire for life in someone else, it sparks fire in me to keep burning.

Favorite Quote:

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.” -Henry David Thoreau

I love this verse so much, it reminds me to confidently follow my dreams and following your dreams doesn’t always mean complicated. Simplify your life.

A lesson you learned and now live by:

You can’t make everyone happy, but you can make everyone feel valued. 

I lived so many years trying to please everyone and trying to make decisions based on how others would react or what would make them happy, but in the end I was just exhausted and there would still be days when someone wasn’t happy with my decisions. So I embraced the mantra of you can’t make everyone happy but you can make them feel valued. I  think it’s important to really listen to what others are saying and accept their advice but don’t get bent out of shape if you don’t feel like it’s right for you. Take in what feels right and leave behind what isn’t for you and others will respect you for that.

Career or life advice?

Don’t rush your life or feel like there is only one path to get where you want to go. Just because most people take a certain path to do something doesn’t mean that’s how everyone is going to do it. You might take a whole different journey to get to where your going and that is beautiful! and if you’re not sure how to get where you what to go, that’s even more exciting because maybe you’re going to do something that’s never been done before! 

Take time to remember your goals- Set your goals and every few months or years if you don’t feel like your on the right path, make a change. Don’t be afraid to stop what your doing and shift your life to how you want it to be! 

Fear is  the enemy of dreaming – Throughout your life your going to feel fear, it’s a natural thing, but don’t let it rule your life. If you do, you might miss some amazing opportunities. Fear wants to keep you from living your creativity but don’t let it keep you down. Kick fear in the ass and keep going, you’ll never regret it.

Danielle’s story inspired me because I am working on breaking into the fashion industry myself. Her perspective reminds me of how crazy it can be; it’s a beautiful industry but it can consume you. Danielle is actually one of my managers & I think she is an amazing person. She is truly beautiful inside and out! She is also very humble, she has done all of these amazing things and I had no idea until my co-workers informed me. I knew right then that I had to ask her to be my next girlboss feature.

I feel lucky to work with an inspiring human like Danielle.

Thank you for reading this month’s #Girlboss feature. I will be working on continuing these once a month. This is PYM’s first post in 2017 & there is much more to come. I decided to take this past Monday off and organize content, you can expect a post this coming Monday. I am continuing to brainstorm amazing content for you all, and as you know, I only post the content I am confident in. Keep reading PYM & follow me on social media.

New Year, New Goals!

xo, Lyss

You’re Beautiful The Way You Are

Hello Pretty People,

It’s time to address a problem that I have not only experienced, but overcome. I want to talk about the stigma girls in today’s society live with, which is the expectation to look beautiful and perfect. We are constantly competing with the girls around us, and honestly, I couldn’t tell you why we do it. It’s something we have watched our mothers and grandmothers do, and now we have carried it into our daily lives. It’s not like we wake up and automatically think “oh I have to look better than this girl”; but instinctively, we are quick to judge other girls.

I do this thing where I try to smile at everyone I pass, and you’d be surprised on how many dirty looks I get from girls. Most of the time, I think it is because I throw them off guard. It is just so natural for us to expect other girls to be mean to us, when in reality, we should be empowering each other. Girls have beautiful minds that work wonders but we constantly underestimating ourselves. Girls are often too worried about what someone else is saying rather than just not caring. These statements I am making are “in general” and given from my own experience of being a girl. I know everyone’s perspectives are different.

In the past year, I have faced a great deal of change and my life has been this transitioning period. Transitioning from this negative outlook I once had, to my new perspective that sees the power and beauty in every individual. A year ago, I walked around worrying about what others where thinking of me; was I enough for them? I went to cheer practicing knowing I would never be as small as the other girls, no matter how hard I tried. I let every little thing bother me because I was so worried about who I should be. This outlook not only made me see myself in a negative way, but it also made me look at others in a negative way. I knew that I had to change, and since then I have been slowly becoming a person I want to be. One that I am proud of.

First off, you have the power to change your life. If you don’t like something, change it! Don’t make excuses.

But, most importantly, do not stop loving yourself in the process. Change is good, it give us new perspectives and teaches us lessons. But, trying to become someone you’re not is an endless battle you will not win. This post today is for the girls out there that are stuck in this position where they think they are not enough and their beauty must meet society’s standards. Your beauty is unique and it is in fact, beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, this may make you feel worse for a moment but hear me through.

Just because one person has an opinion about you, does not mean that their opinion is valid. What others think or say about you, does not define who you are. You define who you are when you wake up in the morning and make the decision to be the best version of yourself.

Girls need to stop competing with each other and start encouraging each other. I cannot say this enough, but once we realize this, we will find peace with one another. The girl hate will vanish!

hap

After struggling with my own body image, I know what it is like to feel this way. I am here to tell you as my reader that you are enough, others opinions do not define you and your happiness is up to you. I cannot stress these three things enough because I know that they are the main reason you feel the way you do. When you place your happiness in the hands of others, you can’t expect it to be your own kind of happiness. When you let others opinions define you, you are letting their words rule you. You have to take charge of your own life. When you can understand that you are amazing without the thoughts and opinions of others, you will begin to live a life you love.

Thank you all for reading today! I really had to express my thoughts on this topic because I know the struggle of body image. Understand that you have to put yourself first and take care of not only your body, but your mind and spirit. It all works together. Just focus on being the best version of yourself and doing things that ultimately make you happy, the rest will follow. Worrying about others actions or thoughts will only slow down your progress, and ain’t nobody got time for that. Life’s short, just live it! Thank you all.

Much Love.

xo, Lyss

Quote of the Day:

alone

 

October Cafe Chat: Confidence

img_3620

Hello Pretty People,

A few weeks ago I met up with the Cafe Chat girls again, and we discussed a topic that is important to me, that topic being confidence. Tessa chose the topic for us this week and she presented us with a few different questions to really get the conversation started, and of course, we all made it our own from there. I am going to share my responses first, then I will share a little snip it of there and direct you to their blogs. I hope you are able to take away some lessons and also connect some of your own thoughts as well.

What makes you feel confident?

I feel the most confident when I can inspire others and be a role model to younger women. I find that very empowering and it makes my heart happy to know that I am influencing others to be the best version of themselves. For example, when my readers are able to connect to my content, it makes me feel like my writing matters. My goal of my blog is to make women not feel alone in the crazy world, and when I see that happening, my heart is full. I also feel very confident when I wear a great outfit or my hair looks exceptionally good one day, that just makes me feel more beautiful and ready to take on the day.

Lastly, I like when my accomplishments or progress are noticed by people. I do not just mean compliments, but when someone can actually notice a progressive change in you, it makes you feel like you are actually doing something right. I know I am my own worst enemy because I always think I should be doing more, therefore when someone stops me and tells me I look like I have it together, that is my favorite thing to hear. It just reassures me that I am on the right track, even when I don’t feel like it always.

What advice do you have for other girls?

I want to tell other girls that they are beautiful and they do not need to change to please others. One thing I often tell myself is that no matter what, if you change your hair or clothes, there are always going to be people who continue to judge you. Just embrace who you are, including your flaws, because everyone is flawed and everyone feels judged. You have to push past this fear of being judged and just accept that we all feel this.

I also want girls to know that health goes beyond size; being skinny does not make you healthy. Being healthy includes your mental health as well. Take care of yourself, do not fill your mind with negativity and do not tell yourself you have to be a certain size.

Lastly, surround yourself with people that lift you up because this reflects who you become. If you are surrounded by negative people, they will only drag you down with them. Find yourself a tribe of fun, loving women who want the best for you; not a group that competes with you and makes you feel less than amazing.

What is your favorite Fall tradition?

I always love going to the apple orchard with my friends and family, donuts and cider are a must-have for the Fall season. I also just love Fall mornings when I can enjoy a coffee at my favorite cafe and people watch.

Processed with VSCO with g3 preset

 

Paige // Where the Wildflowers Are

Paige is a beautiful soul in this world of basic girls, she is always authentic and her beauty shines. Paige feels the most confident by doing the thing she is passionate about: art. Creating art makes her feel the most confident. One of her favorite Fall traditions is picking pumpkins with her little family (Tyler & Max). She shares a whole lot more confident and self-loving advice over on her blog, which you can check it by clicking her name or here.

Tessa // Simply Tess

Tessa is a bright soul that works hard toward her goals, and when she is able to achieve these goals, she feels on top of the world. Tessa shared that she feels most confident when she accomplishes her goals or makes progress toward her goals. She also feels confident when her hard work is recognized. Tessa thinks to be the most confident you should remove the negative people from your life (ditto!) and fall in love with yourself. If you want to learn more about what Tessa had to say this month, head over to Simply Tess or click here.

Ally // A Touch of Tulle

Ally is a goal digger, she is out there achieving her dreams at 20 years old. Ally shared with the group that she finds confidence in accomplishing her goals. She likes when her hard work is recognized and I couldn’t agree more! One of my favorite things she mention when giving us advice was that likes on social media do not matter. I thought this was an important message for girls in today’s society. If you want to hear more from Ally, check out A Touch of Tulle here or in the link above.

Thank you all for reading the second Cafe Chat, and if you missed the first one I will share it below. I have been loving these meetings because I am able to sit down with these amazing humans and discuss topics that most women are unable to talk about. I find myself so lucky to have found an inspiring group of girls that not only lift me up but work on lifting other females up too. They are the ideal women I want to collaborate with. I hope you will stick around and check out my new site, and subscribe if you like it!

Cafe Chat #1

Cheers to a brand new week!

xo, Lyss