To the Girl with a Broken Heart

Hello Beautiful,

I’m writing this blog for all the girls who have had their hearts broken or who currently are working through a heart break. Although I am not in this situation currently, I have been there and I know it hurts.

The sleepless nights. The fake smiles. And the tears, so many tears.

Crying in the shower. Playing sad songs on repeat. Breaking down when a specific song comes on in the car. Your heart physically hurts and your insides feel twisted. For some, it’s the worst pain they’ve experienced. Medicine doesn’t take away this pain. It is a deep pain in your gut and the only cure is time.

To the girl with the broken heart, this is only temporary. This pain and aching in your heart will not last forever. Whoever put you in this place will feel the pain too, maybe not today but in time.

To the girl with the broken heart, it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to not be okay, just don’t get stuck in that dark place. Keep moving forward and grow your strength. You are so strong!

To the girl with the broken heart, he doesn’t deserve you. You are worth so much and anyone willing to hurt you does not deserve your attention. It’s okay to love someone who walks away, but know your own worth. You deserve someone who thinks the world of you!

To the girl with the broken heart, it will get better. It may not feel that way right now, but tough times don’t last, tough people do. You are so tough, this is just a rough patch. Don’t let it drag you down.

I’ve been there before, multiple times actually. You just have to understand the process of life. Yes, it’s hard in the moment and it doesn’t feel like it will get better. But it does. I promise you it does!

It makes you a fighter!

Here’s the pep talk:

Your first option to get your badass vibes back is to listen to Fighter by Christina Aguilera. This is my comeback jam!

Other option is read my next few lines.

You are hurting right now. I understand your pain and I feel it too. But, you are more than this. You have made it through every other heart break before this, and you’ve made through every other tough obstacle. Now here you are, still alive and thriving!

This moment in your life is so small in the grand scheme of things. You will look back on this period as a growing period. Your strength is being tested in these tough moments. They do not define you though. I want you to break down, get angry and cry. Let it out! Just know when to pull your big girl pants up and keep killing it.

You are a beautiful, strong and smart. Whoever broke your heart will regret it or whatever broke your heart will only get better in time. Take care of your bright, happy and creative soul. Take this time to focus on self-care and self-love. Shameless self-love. You are important to so many and your life is important. You have a purpose and this heart break is not that purpose, it is simply a bump in the road.

So, pick yourself up out of that shower or off your bed. Shut off the mushy sad BS music and play this playlist. Maybe even do the power pose because you rock!

My Broken Heart Comeback Playlist:

  1. Fighter – Christina Aguilera
  2. Sorry Not Sorry – Demi Lovato
  3. Bad at Love – Halsey
  4. Confident – Demi Lovato
  5. How Far I’ll Go – Alessia Cara (Yes, the song from Moana)
  6. Lush Life – Zara Larsson
  7. Man! I Feel Like a Woman – Shania Twain
  8. New Rules – Dua Lipa
  9. No Scrubs – TLC
  10. Roar – Katy Perry
  11. Dog Days Are Over – Florence and the Machine
  12. That’s My Girl – Fifth Harmony
  13. We Are Never Getting Back Together – T. Swift
  14. Stronger – Britney Spears
  15. Survivor – Destiny’s Child

*If you are seriously considering hurting yourself, you should seek professional help or call 1-800-273-8255. You matter and there are people here to help you. You are not alone in this fight! It is okay to talk to someone and it’s okay not to be okay, but don’t give up.

As I mentioned, I am completely happy right now but I have been there and I know the pain. There is always a quote that comes to mind when I experience these hard times – “Don’t forget you are human, it’s okay to have a meltdown, just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.”

Once again, these situations are temporary even when they do not feel that way. Remember your best moments and do your best to work through the tough ones. Think about all of the things that have shaped the person you are today, some of the most defining growth periods are probably during or after a tough time. It’s the worlds shitty way of testing our strengths.

Thank you for reading PYM! I hope this post helped you, if you have experienced this. Make this week wonderful, your happiness is up to you.

xo, Lyss

Quote
This is a little vulgar, but it’s resonates with me!

 

Rebuilding Your Self-Confidence

Confidence

Hello Beautiful Souls,

Some of you may have heard my personal self-confidence rebuild story in earlier posts, but if not I will share it again.

Lots of people will ask me what my blog is about and why I started it. Well, I actually started my blog out under the name Somewhere Between Vogue & Van Gogh. It was mostly directed toward art and fashion. But, after undergoing some major changes in my life, it not longer suited me. It was also a super long name that no one could remember.

I was a collegiate cheerleader for almost 2 years. For those of you who do not know, I ended up quitting because it was becoming a toxic environment for me. This is the place where my self-confidence got absolutely destroyed.

Comments and jokes about my size started to get to me mentally. Being on a co-ed team, there was this stigma that the girls had to be less than 110 pounds to stunt. I only weighed 10 pounds more than that but I was constantly looked over, and I was told the “smaller” girls were just easier to stunt with. This stigma caused me to become unhealthy, mentally and physically.

After I finally made the decision to quit, the rebuilding of my confidence began. I spent the next few months after that focusing on my goals; one of which was studying abroad. This time period was a weird point in my life. I wan neither sad nor happy. It was just this time of finding who I wanted to be without cheerleading. I had been a cheerleader for almost 9 years.

My A-ha Moment

Anyways, summer 2016 arrived and I left for my study abroad trip in France. I spent almost 6 weeks fully immersed in the French culture. This is where I began to find my confidence again. The funny part is I didn’t find my confidence through looks or attention, I found it on the outside of my comfort zone. I found that when I pushed my limits to try something new and exciting, I was rewarded with a little confidence point, as I like to call it.

I don’t know why these things correlated, but I think when we are able to try new things we learn more about ourselves.

I’ve also never been one to wear heavy make up, but in the states, I wore an average amount. In Nice, one of the cities I lived in for almost 4 weeks, it was too hot to worry about make up. We were constantly walking, climbing stairs or on the beach. Make up was not necessary.

I also left my hair natural most days because I was nervous about ruining my hair tools. I am sharing these points because this was actually a freeing experience for me. My host mom constantly complimented my smile and my appearance, which made me realize that beauty is more than trying to look perfect. Beauty can also come from the light your personality shines.

Back to the comfort zone thing, I always feel this internal spark when I do something new or step out of comfort zone. That gut feeling we get about things, listen to it. If you are inclined to try something, you should go for it. (Unless it is harmful to others, then don’t…)

After regaining my confidence, some of the girls on the trip encouraged me to write a book about being confident and empowering girls to do the same. It sounded like a great idea, and maybe I will one day, but instead my blog came to mind. After returning back to the U.S., I started brainstorming a new image for my blog. I wanted to share my story with other girls. I wanted to inspire girls to become their best self and empower them to encourage other girls to do the same.

This is how Pretty, Young & Motivated was born.


Okay, so how do you rebuild your confidence?

Take a moment to notice your successes

No matter what you are currently working on, successful or not, take time to realize how far you’ve come. When you have self-doubt, imagine a time you were successful. You can even celebrate a small win. This practice will allow you to understand success and confidence are a process. You will reach your goals in due time.

Confidence often roots from these successful points in our lives. They spark that internal flame a little and boost your confidence. I think this happens because as humans, we are so quick to doubt our abilities and when we are actually successful in our actions, we surprise ourselves. This feeling propels us to believe in ourselves, and that’s really all confidence is. It’s believing in yourself and your abilities.

Listen to your intuition

Follow your gut. Referring to the point about believing in ourselves, most of the time we believe in ourselves but our minds tell us otherwise. This belief is that gut feeling. You know what you are capable of and that can sometimes scare the shit out of you. Check in with those successes and keep following your intuition, it knows what you truly want.

When you follow that feeling, it usually leads to successful actions or fulfilling feelings. As they say at Nike, just do it.

Realize your beauty, internally

Once again, beauty is not just appearance. You can be the most externally beautiful person in the world but if you are a terrible person on the inside, it will show. It’s like the old saying “jealousy is an ugly trait”. They don’t say that because being jealous makes you physically ugly, but because it makes you an ugly person internally.

Know your worth beyond physical appearance. Yes, we all like to look pretty or handsome, but being a good person is most important. Your beauty comes from your strengths within, and sometimes even our weaknesses make us beautiful. The most vulnerable people are usually the most beautiful. Become self-aware; knowing who you are will make you more confident.


These are my best tips for rebuilding self-confidence. There is a huge confidence gap between men and women today. Ladies, we need to close this gap by believing in ourselves more and inspiring other women to do the same. We rise together, and we fall together.

Work on rebuilding your own confidence, and then work on building up the other women around you. Together we are stronger. If you are a male who struggles with confidence, you can still follow these tips to become more confident.

The bottom line is that, like everything in life, rebuilding confidence is a process. You have to fully believe in yourself, which can take some time to do. From there it is up to you to make decisions you believe in, decisions that spark that gut feeling. Finally, never stop pushing outside of your comfort zone. You will become more self-aware and gain a deeper understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. As always, trust the process!

Thank you for reading PYM. I hope to see you back again soon.

xo, Lyss

Pumpkin Patch Proof Outfit for Fall

 

Fall Date

Hello Babes,

Today I am trying something a little different on PYM. I wanted to share an outfit idea with all of you. It’s been quite awhile since I’ve shared a fashion post with you, and I wanted to test it out again. So, if you like this style post and would like to see more fashion/style posts from me, please let me know!

My blog started on fashion, and I still love dressing up and skimming Vogue magazines. I just have found more passion and engagement in writing about real life stuff. I always strive to share authentic topics and stories with you gals. However, I’m happy to bring back the fashion piece if I see enough push back.

This outfit is super simple and easy for almost anyone to put together.

Fall Outfit

American Eagle Boyfriend Flannel // American Eagle Dark Wash Jeans // Boutique Booties // Tart Hat // Assorted Kate Spade Bracelets

My boyfriend, David, and I visited a local farm last Saturday to pick pumpkins. We got donuts, picked out our massive pumpkins, took fun photos and then carved the pumpkins. The weather was perfect, and this outfit was very versatile for the day.

This outfit can easily be to put together from any closet. You can make it your own with different accessories. I paired mine with this cute grey hat! Depending on the weather, a chunky blanket scarf may be suitable.

The secret to my outfit is that it does not have to be name brand. I prefer American Eagle denim but you can wear your favorite pair of jeans with this outfit. A flannel can be bought at any store you please, even a resale shop. Don’t limit yourself to high priced fashion items, it’s all about how you style something that matters.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and if you would like to see more fashion post, please let me know. Thank you for reading today!

“Forget the rules. If you like it, wear it”

xo, Lyss

5 Books Every Girl Needs to Read

Hello Cuties,

Over the past few months, I have been working on building my personal library. I’ve never been much of a book worm, but I’ve found books to be really inspiring and helpful throughout my college career. There are so many books out there that can offer you almost any information you seek.

In our society today, knowledge is key. Therefore, reading opens many doors and provides you with valuable knowledge on life, career building and loving yourself.

Since I’ve been on a reading kick lately, I wanted to share five of my favorite books. I believe every young girl should read these before starting their career or just to keep them around the house. They are all inspiring and motivating, in my opinion.

Big Magic | Elizabeth Gilbert

Big Magic is about learning how to live your most creative life. Gilbert discusses how to incorporate creating living into your everyday activities. I’m still in the process of reading this one, but so far I love it. It makes you realize how to add creativity to all parts of your life. I think as we grow up, we forget about how important it is to be creative and let our expression flow. This book is a reminder of how to do so!

You Are a Badass | Jen Sincero

You Are a Badass is a really inspiring book that motivates you to care less about certain things and live your best life. One of my favorite parts of this book is that at the end of almost every chapter, one of the steps to follow is “love yourself”. I love that this is highlighted so much because the first step to living up to your full potential is loving yourself.

Leave Your Mark | Aliza Licht

I read this book my freshmen year of college, and it really set a positive tone for pursuing my dream career. This book has fun, sassy undertone from the author Aliza, former DKNY PR Girl. It not only shares her journey from the medical field to the high-fashion world, but it also covers all the tips you want to know to for pursuing a career in a competitive industry, like fashion.

The Sun & Her Flowers | Rupi Kaur

This book is not one you read all the way through at one time. I see this book as a resource you refer to when you need inspiration or words of affirmation. This a poetry book written by the magnificent Rupi Kaur. Her other book, Milk + Honey, is also highly praised. I have not purchased this one yet but I plan to in the future. I will share one of the passages from this book below.

#Girlboss | Sophia Amoruso 

Lastly, a classic favorite of mine, #Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso. After reading this book, I was completely inspired by the tone and message behind Sophia Amoruso and her story to success. I also enjoyed the fashion piece in this book. From the story of Nasty Gal and her attitude towards life, it’s something all girls need to read. It’s sassy, fun and empowering!

These are just a few of the books that have really motivated me and inspired many of my goals, career and personal. I utilize these books as tools, I keep them on my shelf as a reference. I read them whenever I need a little pick-me-up. Perk: Most of these books are around $10!

What books do you love + recommend?

Please share below in the comments or on social media with #PYMbooks. I’m always on the hunt for a new book! Thanks for reading PYM today, see you next time.

xo, Lyss

Planning a Girls Night Out the Right Way

Hello!

My 21st birthday is coming up in October and I’m so excited. Many bars and clubs in my area do not allow people in who are under the age of 21. Therefore, I have not been able to really experience the nightlife of my city. Once I turn 21, I will be able to go out and grab a drink with friends or buy a bottle of wine, just because. And a little secret about me is that I LOVE to dance, sober or not. So, I cannot wait to have the freedom to go out dancing with my girls. In lieu of my upcoming birthday, I partnered with Grand Rapids Party Buses to create a post all about bar hopping right here in my city, Grand Rapids.

Grand Rapids Bar Hopping

Bar hopping in Grand Rapids is one of the best ways to get to know the city and simultaneously have fun with friends. However, anybody with a group of friends in this modern day and age knows the complications in setting up a get together. There’s so much to consider whether it’s school, work schedules, or prior commitments. However, we’re here with suggestions for some fantastic bars to look into adding to your bar hopping itinerary as well as an option that will make it easy to get your group of friends to commit to a night of fun.

Sidebar

For those who value cocktail diversity and creativity, you’re definitely going to love this spot! It’s a smaller venue with seating for about twenty, so it’s perfect for trying out a drink or two and heading on to your next destination. The bartenders are known to be extremely efficient and knowledgeable, so count on a five star drink whenever you decide to head here. Try the Pisco Sour!

Buffalo Traders Lounge

Located in Midtown, Buffalo Traders Lounge offers a fun retro vibe! It has a 70’s look and feel that’s really comforting. You’re sure to enjoy their sliding scale Happy Hour that runs Monday through Thursday where drinks start at a cheap five dollars and then increase in price by one dollar each hour. It’s a cool experience being quizzed by their bartenders to get a completely custom drink!

Noco Provisions

This is a new addition to the scene in Grand Rapids, and they offer reservations online. It focuses on providing comfort food and drinks in an upscale gastropub environment. The poutine fries and tuna poke are both a big hit as well as the milk pot flight if you’re staying for dessert. Those who enjoy craft beer will take delight in the selection of IPAs on draft!

Transportation

Reserving professional transportation such as a limousine or party bus in Grand Rapids is the best way to get everyone on board…literally! While the knee jerk reaction is to order an Uber or Lyft, you’ll benefit much more with the addition of Grand Rapids Party Buses. Splitting the cost among the group keeps it affordable for everyone involved, and you’ll know you’re partying to the best of your ability when surrounded with quality features. Not only is it a safe way to get everybody involved, but it also provides an unforgettable experience.

Working with GR Party Buses has me looking forward to planning my own 21st birthday extravaganza. Now that I have an idea of where to go and how to get around, I cannot wait for my birthday. You can also use these tips to plan your next girls night out. Be sure to check out what they have to offer!

Thank you for reading today!