Rebuilding Your Self-Confidence

Confidence

Hello Beautiful Souls,

Some of you may have heard my personal self-confidence rebuild story in earlier posts, but if not I will share it again.

Lots of people will ask me what my blog is about and why I started it. Well, I actually started my blog out under the name Somewhere Between Vogue & Van Gogh. It was mostly directed toward art and fashion. But, after undergoing some major changes in my life, it not longer suited me. It was also a super long name that no one could remember.

I was a collegiate cheerleader for almost 2 years. For those of you who do not know, I ended up quitting because it was becoming a toxic environment for me. This is the place where my self-confidence got absolutely destroyed.

Comments and jokes about my size started to get to me mentally. Being on a co-ed team, there was this stigma that the girls had to be less than 110 pounds to stunt. I only weighed 10 pounds more than that but I was constantly looked over, and I was told the “smaller” girls were just easier to stunt with. This stigma caused me to become unhealthy, mentally and physically.

After I finally made the decision to quit, the rebuilding of my confidence began. I spent the next few months after that focusing on my goals; one of which was studying abroad. This time period was a weird point in my life. I wan neither sad nor happy. It was just this time of finding who I wanted to be without cheerleading. I had been a cheerleader for almost 9 years.

My A-ha Moment

Anyways, summer 2016 arrived and I left for my study abroad trip in France. I spent almost 6 weeks fully immersed in the French culture. This is where I began to find my confidence again. The funny part is I didn’t find my confidence through looks or attention, I found it on the outside of my comfort zone. I found that when I pushed my limits to try something new and exciting, I was rewarded with a little confidence point, as I like to call it.

I don’t know why these things correlated, but I think when we are able to try new things we learn more about ourselves.

I’ve also never been one to wear heavy make up, but in the states, I wore an average amount. In Nice, one of the cities I lived in for almost 4 weeks, it was too hot to worry about make up. We were constantly walking, climbing stairs or on the beach. Make up was not necessary.

I also left my hair natural most days because I was nervous about ruining my hair tools. I am sharing these points because this was actually a freeing experience for me. My host mom constantly complimented my smile and my appearance, which made me realize that beauty is more than trying to look perfect. Beauty can also come from the light your personality shines.

Back to the comfort zone thing, I always feel this internal spark when I do something new or step out of comfort zone. That gut feeling we get about things, listen to it. If you are inclined to try something, you should go for it. (Unless it is harmful to others, then don’t…)

After regaining my confidence, some of the girls on the trip encouraged me to write a book about being confident and empowering girls to do the same. It sounded like a great idea, and maybe I will one day, but instead my blog came to mind. After returning back to the U.S., I started brainstorming a new image for my blog. I wanted to share my story with other girls. I wanted to inspire girls to become their best self and empower them to encourage other girls to do the same.

This is how Pretty, Young & Motivated was born.


Okay, so how do you rebuild your confidence?

Take a moment to notice your successes

No matter what you are currently working on, successful or not, take time to realize how far you’ve come. When you have self-doubt, imagine a time you were successful. You can even celebrate a small win. This practice will allow you to understand success and confidence are a process. You will reach your goals in due time.

Confidence often roots from these successful points in our lives. They spark that internal flame a little and boost your confidence. I think this happens because as humans, we are so quick to doubt our abilities and when we are actually successful in our actions, we surprise ourselves. This feeling propels us to believe in ourselves, and that’s really all confidence is. It’s believing in yourself and your abilities.

Listen to your intuition

Follow your gut. Referring to the point about believing in ourselves, most of the time we believe in ourselves but our minds tell us otherwise. This belief is that gut feeling. You know what you are capable of and that can sometimes scare the shit out of you. Check in with those successes and keep following your intuition, it knows what you truly want.

When you follow that feeling, it usually leads to successful actions or fulfilling feelings. As they say at Nike, just do it.

Realize your beauty, internally

Once again, beauty is not just appearance. You can be the most externally beautiful person in the world but if you are a terrible person on the inside, it will show. It’s like the old saying “jealousy is an ugly trait”. They don’t say that because being jealous makes you physically ugly, but because it makes you an ugly person internally.

Know your worth beyond physical appearance. Yes, we all like to look pretty or handsome, but being a good person is most important. Your beauty comes from your strengths within, and sometimes even our weaknesses make us beautiful. The most vulnerable people are usually the most beautiful. Become self-aware; knowing who you are will make you more confident.


These are my best tips for rebuilding self-confidence. There is a huge confidence gap between men and women today. Ladies, we need to close this gap by believing in ourselves more and inspiring other women to do the same. We rise together, and we fall together.

Work on rebuilding your own confidence, and then work on building up the other women around you. Together we are stronger. If you are a male who struggles with confidence, you can still follow these tips to become more confident.

The bottom line is that, like everything in life, rebuilding confidence is a process. You have to fully believe in yourself, which can take some time to do. From there it is up to you to make decisions you believe in, decisions that spark that gut feeling. Finally, never stop pushing outside of your comfort zone. You will become more self-aware and gain a deeper understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. As always, trust the process!

Thank you for reading PYM. I hope to see you back again soon.

xo, Lyss

21 Ways to Show Self-Love

Hello Happy Souls,

Yesterday was my 21st birthday, and it was such an amazing birthday weekend. I’m so thankful for the people around me and for all the warm regards I received. My heart is so full! I’m looking forward to what this year brings.

I didn’t really have too much time to just sit down and write a post for you all this weekend, but I had to share something with my lovely readers. To celebrate my birthday, I wanted to share a list of self-love tips that I think are super important, even if it’s not your b-day. Birthdays are fun, hey? You get a day of royal treatment and it leaves you feeling great. Why not live everyday feeling like a queen!?

21 ways to show some self-love:

  1. Smile. It helps, even if you are feeling down.
  2. Eat well. Fill your body with good energy boosting foods.
  3. Accept who you are. Don’t try to be anyone else, just love who you are.
  4. Drink water. Take care of your health + skin with a few cups of H2O.
  5. Understand you are enough. No matter how others perceive you, you’re amazing.
  6. Use essential oils. Lavender is my favorite to use for calming.
  7. Write yourself positive notes. I keep these in my agenda + on my mirror.
  8. Surround yourself with happy people. Happy people = Positive vibes
  9. Journal your feelings. Sometimes it feels good to write it out.
  10. Take a bath. Light a candle + just relax your soul.
  11. Celebrate small wins. Everything counts, the small wins add up to big wins in the end.
  12. Be patient. Everything will work out, just wait.
  13. Do something you love. Spend time on things that bring you joy.
  14. Exercise. Get active, it helps relieve stress and release endorphins.
  15. Make time for yourself. It’s important to spend time with yourself.
  16. Don’t compare. This is a game you’ll never win.
  17. Buy yourself a fancy drink. A smoothie, a pressed-juice, a latte, anything!
  18. Find your happy place. A place you can be yourself and clear your head.
  19. Let go of negativity. It only holds you back from greatness.
  20. Find something to be grateful for. Everyday.
  21. Forgive yourself. Don’t hold on to bad feelings, move on.

I hope these small tips remind you that everyday should feel like your birthday. You are amazing and important. Taking care of yourself is imperative to living a happy and healthy life. If you cannot love yourself, it will be hard for others to love you too.

Everyone is different. We see the world differently, we see beauty differently. So, why hold our own standards to those of society? We’re all just making it through our own life, worry less about trying to please others and more about doing things that brings you happiness. People and opportunities will fall into place once you allow yourself to live to your full potential.

It’s a new week to be great. Happy Monday!

xo, Lyss

I’m Anxious Right Now

Hello Beautiful People,

I wanted to have an honest moment with all of you. Many of you may know that I struggle with anxiety from time to time. I have talked about this in more recent posts, but I thought I would be 100% real with you today.

Right now at this very moment, I am anxious.

Why you may ask?

That’s the problem with anxiety, you can’t always define the cause. Sometimes I am able to figure out where it is rooting from but most of the time it is unknown. That’s why it kind of makes one feel crazy. Anxiety gets under your skin, you feel it in your gut. It’s like being nervous about nothing.

It’s caring too much and it’s thinking too much.

You fear things that aren’t even happening. For example, right now I am feeling like people are annoyed with me; like they don’t want to be around me. So naturally, I am pushing away people that are close to me. I don’t want to be annoying and bothersome. My anxiety can take over and cause me to overthink even the smallest things. And that’s what is happening currently.

It’s wanting to fix something that’s not even a problem yet.

You feel alone, even when you’re not. You push people away (accidentally) because you’re scared of getting hurt. When in reality, nobody is leaving you. It’s all in your head. People ask what’s wrong and you can’t explain it because it doesn’t even make sense in your own head.

That’s anxiety.

Most of the time I wish I did’t have to deal with this monster in my head but let me tell you a few things that anxiety has done for me.

Anxiety has made me love more deeply. I invest myself completely into a person because I think about every little thing. I don’t like conflict, so I do my best to make everyone happy and I always consider other peoples feelings. Sometimes before my own.

Anxiety has made me a planner. This is one of those things that can go both ways. In some sense, you don’t want to over plan and ruin the moment. But, planning has made me the driven, ambitious person I am today. Since I do think about every aspect,  I am able to formulate a plan to accommodate many outcomes. Downfall of this trait is unmet expectations cause disappointment. You win some and lose some!

Anxiety has motivated me in many ways. At times, it can take over my mood and cause me to be in a real funk. But, the next day I have the option to make it a great day or let anxiety win. It all around has made me a stronger person.

Anxiety makes me stronger inside because it forces me to be completely self-aware at all times.

Anxiety allows me to read others very well. That is a gift of anxiety, I can determine if people are good or bad people pretty early on.

These are just a few ways I can describe anxiety. Creating this post has actually helped me internalize my feelings. Sometimes writing out your thoughts helps ease the anxious feeling. It allows you to see what you are thinking. If you are someone who struggles with anxiety, know that you are not alone and everything will be okay, even though it may not feel that way in the moment.

Don’t be afraid to reach out and get help. You are most important, so take care of yourself!

Thank you for reading PYM today. I hope this post is able to help those who also struggle with anxiety find peace in the fact that they are not alone, and offer a perspective of anxiety for those who may not understand it.

Remember: Everything will work out.

xo, Lyss

I’m Not Perfect, I Know

Hello Lovely People,

In a world of picture perfect people, thanks to social media; we are all held to an unobtainable standard. I believe women struggle with this a little more than the fellas, but we all experience it.

“It”, referring to the feeling of never being enough.

We get caught up comparing ourselves and our accomplishments to others. It’s easy to do in a society where everyone shares their lives on the internet. You get a new shirt and you’re happy, but then you see your friend just got a new car. This feeling of envy can kick in.

You were completely content with your purchase of $15 until you saw someone had something better. You then think: “oh, well I can’t afford that, I must not be good enough or successful enough”.

The cycle begins. It’s vicious too!

You don’t mean to be jealous or envious of other people but it’s hard not to be when their “perfect” lives are always in your face.

Truth: Their lives are not perfect. How do I know this?

Well because just like us, they’re human. We all try to post our best pictures and post on our best days, when really, there are a lot of low quality pictures and low quality days. As a society, we like to share the good stuff.

I have anxiety. Many people may not know this about me but they do know that I “like a plan”. It’s not that I like a plan but I get anxiety when I don’t know what to expect. It makes me overthink and worry, why? I couldn’t tell you. It just happens mentally.

I started to share some of struggles (with anxiety) on Instagram and Facebook, being 100% honest and it was a hit. Not in the sense that I got this fancy attention for it and all these followers, but I had people personally message me telling me they struggled with the same things. REAL PEOPLE. The ones that even shared pictures of their perfect lives.

See! No one is perfect, we just like to put on a front that makes people think we are. It’s safer because we’re less vulnerable in that state.

I’m not saying every time you log on to social media you need to share your true feelings. Just be aware that everyone else has similar battles in their lives, we just don’t always see them.

And a side note. Rather than focusing on what people are doing around you and on social media, focus on your goals and your accomplishments. Whether you just got a new shirt or a new car, you are not any greater or less than those around you.

Everyone has flaws, they may not be the same as yours but they’re there. And if you think about it, your flaws are only defined by you. How other people view them is completely up to them. How you define your flaws may be how someone else defines your beauty. One of my favorite quotes that I came across recently, explains this all so well:

“Just because you don’t look like somebody who you think is attractive doesn’t mean you are’t attractive. Flowers are pretty, but so are sunsets and they look nothing alike.”  

Thank you for checking out Pretty, Young and Motivated today! I have officially created a YouTube channel that will go along with this blog. It is under my name Alyssa Waid, but it is an addition to the PYM family. Check it out here!

You too have a picture perfect life, it’s just about the angle you look at it.

xo, Lyss

Stories + Spaces: Self-Love

Hello Lovely People,

It’s time for this month’s Stories + Spaces and the topic is “Self-Love.” You’ve probably noticed my last few posts have been related to self-love, and I have to be honest, my self-love routine has taken a back seat due to my busy schedule this semester. Over the past few weeks, this lack of self care has begun to catch up with me. I’ve been breaking out every week due to stress, illness is creeping up on me and my sleep schedule is out of whack.

Although I love being busy and investing my time into many things, it catches up to you. Sadly, when we get busy I think the first thing we neglect is ourselves. After constantly breaking out and feeling under the weather, I realized it’s time to take care of myself first.

This post could not have come at a better time! I am working on refocusing my attention and taking care of my well-being. Tessa constructed this post and she asked us three questions.

Why is self-love important?

In my opinion, self-love is important because it gives us confidence and makes us happier. When you look up the definition of self-love, you may see synonyms like conceit or narcissism. I find this to be so disheartening. Self-love should not be looked at as a selfish act. Self-love is not about being too into yourself or being selfish; it’s about taking care of your mind, body and spirit. It’s interest in your own well-being, and is that really narcissistic?

Self-love is important to your health, it promotes good energy and a mindful life. Taking care of yourself is crucial to keeping your passions inspired and keeping your vibes positive. Never look at self-love as something negative or selfish. You can still love yourself and spread love to others. Actually, people who are more confident in themselves, are more likely to be kind to others because they are comfortable with themselves. When you are comfortable with who you are, you don’t worry about what others look like or what they think. It’s freeing!

How I promote self-love in my life?

As I mentioned in the beginning of the post, my self-love routine has been a little off lately. But, since I have been feeling this way, I decided to take a step back and focus on myself more. These are a few of the ways that I take care of my mind and body.

  1. Drink tea: Tea is great for many different things; immune system, energy, skin, etc. Drinking tea is healthy & yummy!
  2.  Lavender essential oil: This has been my go-to for everything. I use this on my breakouts, pillowcase (stress reliever) and in my hair (dry scalp). It is the best thing ever!
  3. Taking a run: When I find the time (and the weather is nice), I love to get outside and run. This relieves my stress and boosts my mood.
  4. Getting my nails done: Lately, I have found getting my nails done really helps boost my confidence. It makes me feel pretty and look professional.
  5. Read positive quotes:  I love finding quotes on Pinterest and sharing them with my girl friends.
  6. Sleep: Sleep is so important to me. It keeps me functioning and it’s important to give your mind a rest.
  7. Taking care of my skin: This has been a never ending battle lately, but I always remove all my makeup and wash my face each night. I like to moisturize my face each night too, especially during the winter months.

This isn’t really a bullet point but just a statement on promoting self-love and that is speaking positively about yourself. When you speak negatively about yourself to others and to yourself, it promotes negativity in your life. Never compare yourself and be confident in who you are.

What I love most about myself?

Who I am and where I come from. A lot of people don’t know that I use to be a tomboy growing up; I raced motorcycles, caught gaint frogs and built forts until I was about 13. People see me as a girly girl and all into fashion, which is partly true, but I come from a lot more than just that. I’d like to thing my life as been on the end of a little crazy but nothing to complain about because I believe it has all made me who I am today.

My past has made me work hard for every single one of my goals, it has taught me to have a kind heart but not to take shit from anyone. I always give people second chances, but never a third. Ambition and passionate are words that describe my attitude toward many things in life. I love that I had the opportunity to grow up playing outdoors, doing ballet and racing dirt bikes, it made me tough. So, what I love most about myself is who I am because of my past and what I’ve become because of it.

Everyday and everything is a lesson, what you learn from it is up to you. You can make it negative or you can make it positive, the choice is yours.

I really enjoyed writing this post, especially during this busy time of my life. It’s always nice to remind yourself that self-love is important. Be sure to check out the other girl’s posts too! I will link their blogs below.

Tessa | Simply Tess

Ally | A Touch of Tulle

Paige | Where the Wildflowers Are

Thank you for reading today! Stay tuned for more posts from PYM. I apologize for only posting once a week sometimes, my schedule is insane and I barely have time for homework. Thank you for sticking around and I hope your week is amazing.

Happy Monday.

xo, Lyss